SENIOR SPOTLIGHT:
NICOLE SCHIERENBECK
M: When and where?
N: Eau Claire, January 10, 2001--actually,
the best day of your life.
M: *ignores last comment* Describe yourself
in one word, please.
N: Uh . . . oh . . . I don’t know. Witty!
Mrs. Beekman: Bubbly! Pretty! Beautiful!
N: I look like a fish.
M: Time to get to the bottom of it. Are you
really as nice as people say?
N: *bites my shoulder* I hope.
M: Why so obsessed with Fettuccine Alfredo?
N: Cause it’s the best food ever and it’s so
good! I think that every restaurant should have
to serve at least one type of Fettuccine Alfredo.
M: Interesting. I hear you’re in love?
N: What? I’m embarrassed. I didn’t say that.
*blushes*
M: Whatever you say. What will you miss the
most about Immanuel?
N: Seeing my friends every day.
M: If you could tell your freshman self one
thing?
N: I would say, Nicole, throughout high school
don’t be a hermit, and take every chance to
build friendships because if you don’t, you will
regret it when you leave.
Paige: Hey, queens!
M: What’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done?
N: You ask hard questions. I don’t get out much.
M: Fair enough. Now, the question we’ve all been waiting for. Who won, Ellie or Paige? *audience gasps*
N: Definitely Ellie, ‘cause she didn’t wash her hands.
Paige: Uugh, that was my least favorite part of the
whole thing! *scowls for 30 minutes*
M: Okay, what’s your best memory of high school?
N: I’d have to say all of our class fires.
Nicole’s Favorites:
-
Prof - Mrs. J.
-
Food - Fettuccine Alfredo
-
Color - Clear
-
Person - “Definitely not M” (probably M)
-
Quote - “Come on cupcakes!” - Paige
​
Timothy Isaac Meyer, A.K.A. T.I.M., A.K.A. Tonto, A.K.A. The Most Handsomest Dude Ever
So, I can’t really say I’ve known him his whole life, but I have known him for all of mine. Two years my senior (haha, because he’s a senior . . . no? okay.), Timothy was born on February 26, 2001, in Rapid City, SD. We’ve been two partners in crime pretty much since I was born and I became his “babyyy sista,” though sometimes we have seemed more like enemies than partners. I’ve had his back and he’s had mine, always when it counts. He’s become my confidant, my best friend, and one of my heroes, and now he’s graduating. That’s really different, the thought of maybe not seeing him every day, but I know none of the important things will change.
You guys, or most of you, have known him for these last few years. He’s been the wize-cracker goofball, the kid always doing silly stuff in the dorm, a friend to many. But he’ll always be my (dork of a) bro.
Let the questioning begin.
Grace: Why do you like taco salad so much?
Timothy: I DO NOT like taco salad, contrary to popular belief. I don’t know who keeps spreading these rumors about me. I think taco salad is subhuman. I do not appreciate the use of mystery meat in my food.
G: What is the key to avoiding procrastination?
T: I’ll tell you tomorrow.
G:How do you feel about there being three Tims on campus?
T: I don’t like it. The name “Tim” used to be sacred. Now people just name their kids Tim willy-nilly.
G:How do you feel about having the same backpack as the rest of the school? I know you’ve picked up the wrong one on multiple occasions.T: It makes for a nice ice breaker, because when--no, scratch that. Seriously though, if you ever want to meet
By Malaena Buck
Nicole in 10 years
Paige - Probably wins nurse of the year because
she’s so kind and helpful.
Dannie - Um . . . um . . . somewhere.
M: I hope so!
Lauren - Hopefully far away from you, ‘cause you’re kinda gross.
Malaena - Picking the paint off of my walls as usual.
Stephen - *doesn’t miss a beat* Married to Levi Wittorp.
somebody new, just pick up his backpack and walk away with it.
Also, the excuse of having the same backpack is nice.
Timothy’s Playlist- One song for each mood. (He asked to send these
to me later, by the way.)
Happy: “Somethin’ Like That”--Kenny Chesney
Sad: “Happier”--Ed Sheeran
Angry: “Invisible”--5SOS
Chill: “Never Fade”--Jack Johnson
Hungry: “Chicken Fried”--Zach Brown Band
G: Top three memories from your three years here.
Sophomore Year:
I dated Brynn for three days.
Junior Year:
I did the same thing, but it lasted for a month, or something.
Senior Year:
I didn’t date Brynn.*victory dance*
G: Okay, okay, now the rest of them?
T: My favorite memory, above any, is spending this year with Hope.
G: Any other good memories to share? This is a safe place.
T: Well, if you put it that way . . . Let’s just say pie with Stephen, and
also the Grinch Squad, and the Night That Must Not be Named. Water
gun fights with Mr. Fox. Sneaking out *laughs* for ten minutes. The Sad
Mariachis. *ponders for a while* Eh, that sounds good to me.
​
Timothy’s Advice: If it looks like a monkey, and smells like a monkey, and makes weird noises
like a monkey, you’ve got yourself a monkey. I think that’s the best advice you could give
anybody. It’s obvious, but no one pays attention to anything anymore.
Favorite class: *starts singing “Baa-Baa Black Sheep” under his breath* Probably Spanish II.
Favorite Group Project (because everybody loves those): The ones I can do myself. No, the
“Hey, Stephen” Project with Hope.
G: If you had to choose one thing to change about this school, or your experience of it, what
would it be?
T: The pretentious piety.
G: Favorite Bible verse and how it has affected your life.
T: Psalm 42, all of it, but especially verse 5 and the beginning of 6: “Why are you cast down,
O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.” It’s a good reminder that when things are looking down, you don’t
have to.
G: Future plans?
T: Become a professional nut milker. Of almonds, that is.
Senior Spotlight:
By Grace Meyer
When and where were you born?
July 7, 2001, in Eau Claire, Wisconsin
If you could go to one place in the entire world, where would it be and why?
Probably Germany because I think it would be cool to be in that culture, and I’ve been studying German on Duolingo.
You’re stuck on a desert island. What three things do you choose to have with you?
Um, a blanket, a Bible, and a picture of my family. I’d probably die anyway.
Favorite high school memory?
There are way too many good ones to choose just one, but it was so funny when Lily tripped on a backpack on the first day of school.
Words of wisdom to the ILHS students here next year?
Be nice to everyone and keep your faith above everything else.
Plans after high school?
I plan to go to CVTC for the 2-year nursing program, get a job, and go back for a more specific degree.
What are you going to miss most
about ILHS?
I’ll miss the people here, sharing the
same foundation with them, being
with people I’ve been friends with
for the past 13 years, and hearing
the story of Stephen being hogtied
at least once a week.
What are you going to miss the least
from ILHS?
I don’t know, I’m just excited to be
closer to being done with school.
​
Favorites:
Animal: Polar Bear
Color: Yellow
Prof: Rodebaugh or Schierenbeck
ILC food: Chicken Penne Italiano
Bible Passage: Joshua 1:9
LAUREN GURGLE
By Julianna Hein
Senior Spotlight:
PAIGE QUAM
Name: Paige Elizabeth Quam
Birthday: June 19, 2001
Where: “Pretty sure Sacred Heart Hospital in Eau Claire, WI”
Random Fun Fact:
Me: “One time you got punched in the face by Ellie.”
Paige: “If you put that in there, you’ll be the one getting punched.”
If you had to pick animal that described you as a person, what would it be?
Paige: “I don’t know. What do you think?”
Me: “Uh . . . a pony.”
Favorites:
Sport: Hockey
Meal: Chicken Poppers
Prof.: Mrs. J.
Color: Red
Class: Geography or Art
High school memory: When
Lily ate carpet in Brit Lit
Prof Kranz’s conspiracy theory:
“JFK, because I really
appreciate how we spent three
class days on that.”
Where are you going to
college? “I’m not.”
Why are you so loud? “I don’t
know, MORGAN, why are you
so mean?”
How do you come up with your
dialect? “These voices kinda
talk to me and I just listen
sometimes.”
If there was one year you could redo which one would it be? “Sophomore year, because it was like being repeatedly slapped in the face by a monkey that was holding my head under water.”
By Brynn Scierenbeck
SENIOR SPOTLIGHT: TIM MEYER
When and Where were you born? November 9, 2000, in Eau Claire
What are your plans for next year? I don’t know.
Choice between gun, fishing rod, or truck? A truck, obviously. It’s worth like $30,000 more.
Best part about soccer? I would say because it wasn’t an actual real sport it was a club team, and it was more fun ‘cause you were basically hanging out with your friends.
Advice for freshmen? Get out and do a lot more stuff with friends ‘cause time flies when you’re having fun and nobody wants to be at school longer than he has to.
Biggest lesson you’ve learned
from high school? If you
enjoyed a project, you seem to
get a lot better grade on it.
Favorites?
High School Memory: Sleeping
on the trampoline after Banquet
Prof: Schierenbeck, or
Rodebaugh, but probably
Schierenbeck
Church Service: Easter Sunrise
Lunch Meal: Lemon Chicken
Hobby: Oh boy, probably
hunting; you just get to spend
a lot of time in the woods.
Canadian: Meg. . .uhh no, I’m
gonna go with Mackenna. Wait,
no one knows who Roman is,
but definitely him. Or your dad,
or your mom after that; Luke’s also pretty cool.
M: So are you saying I’m from a good family?
G: Well, no, everybody but you. I’m kidding, Megan is the best . . . Canadian.
Food: Peanut Butter Jelly.
M: Peanut Butter Jelly what?
G: Sandwiches, what else?
Movie: Oofdah, can it be a TV show? Cheers all the way.
Thing to Draw: That’s a tough one--between deer and trucks.
Song: “Longest Time”--Billy Joel
Where do you see Gabe in 10 Years?
Noah: In the woods still looking for that thirty point buck.
Malaena: Back of a truck, dead, while the deer is driving away. On a stick too. Dead. Dead on a stick.
Lauren: Probably still hunting and fishing, just hanging out, living the good life.
Tim: Somewhere in a tree shooting a prize buck.
Joey: In a log cabin, on the front porch smoking a cigar with a shotgun. Actually, no, it’d probably be a rifle.
Senior Spotlight:
GABE PLATH
When and Where: Eau Claire, WI, January 6, 2001
Plans for next year? Coastal Carolina University, Myrtle Beach, SC
Highschool Memory? Sophomore year Kaitlyn, Noah, and I had a lunch squad thing and that was the start of everything, the start of us being closer.
Piece of Advice for Freshman? Even the dumb classes are worth it in the end, and don’t be stupid.
Favourites:
Prof: Rodebaugh
School Meal:
Country Fried Steak
Hobby: Watching
Netflix
Canadian: Megan,
wait, scratch that, it’s
Mackenna. You know
I love you.
Shift at Panera?
Anything after 4.
Class: Art
Hymn: “Amazing
Grace,” I cry every time.
Movie: Goodbye Mr. Chips
Thing to Bake: Energy Bars
Caribou or Starbucks?
Caribou all the way; the
campfire mocha is my bae.
ILC Event? Field Day
Biggest lesson learned from high school? Success is squishy; it means everyone goes their own speed and has his/her own goals. It’s just a good thing to remember.
Something you want people to know about you? That my favourite Bible passage is Joshua 1:9.
Krystal in Ten Years?
Kaitlyn: Somewhere in the bottom of the ocean.
Levi: Uhhh, owning Panera.
Lauren: Uhhh, I don’t know; I’m really bad at those.
Dasker: In ten years? She has a job at SHEDD Aquarium.
Noah: Bottom of the ocean. No, no, not the bottom of the ocean, but lost on some desert island mingling softly with the sharks. She falls in love with shark.
SENIOR SPOTLIGHT: KRYSTAL SYDOW
By Megan Johnston
By Megan Johnston
SENIOR SPOTLIGHT: CARTER KISOR
Carter Rae Kisor is Immanuel's most elusive senior. I'm guessing you've seen this man in a mad dash to his car at 2:52 before, if not then you're too slow for his timeframe. What you might not know is that he lives 45 minutes away, he has to drive there and back every single day (there's a reason he has 15 absences for this second semester). It was even worse our freshman and sophomore year because he couldn't drive his mom was making the trip before and after school so it was double. Besides the thousands he's spent on gas these past four years, Carter, has found a special spot in the memory bank, from white t-shirts and black shorts to telling him to grow his hair out our junior year in a Religion 11 class (just look at his flow now), he's become an essential part of our class. We can always count on him to skip field day and the non essential classes, but we've managed to drag him out to a few events here and there, like the past two banquets and a few early on volleyball games. This guy has become one of my best friends over the years now and I'm glad I was given the privilege to shine the spotlight on this special Senior.
He plans on moving out to Sioux Falls this summer and sharing a place with me while we attend Southeast Technical Institute for finance.
​
J: Carter
C: What?
J: Let's stop procrastinating
and finally get this done.
J: When and Where?
C: *confusion*
J: Like birth..
C: Oh, Coon Rapids, Minnesota
July 26, 2001
J: Plans for next year?
C: You know (He’s living with me
in Sioux Falls, going to SeTI)
Favorites
J: Prof?
C: Rodebaugh (slash Schierenbeck)
(put it alphabetical because it was
requested due to tie)
J: Class?
C: Does it have to be a class this
year?
J: No
C: Physics
J: Color?
C: Red
J: TV show, I bet Game of Thrones?
C: Game of Thrones
J: High School memory? This better be with me
C: Sleeping in my car overnight in the parking lot
J: Well, I’m a little hurt now
Carter In 10 Years
Lily: He’s for sure gonna be a millionaire
Paige: IDK, a billionaire but no one knows he’s filthy rich, he drops off the grid but becomes the world’s first trillionaire wearing his black suit and white shirt every day now back to his roots
Krystal: A boss at a huge industry but doesn’t show up whenever it snows
Nicole: Living in his car but still driving 50 minutes to his destination every day
By James Sullivan
Trinity Mayhew
Arbor day reminiscences
It Came From The Fish Pond
It was not his coworkers’ vindictiveness that left Sam Radermacher drenched to the bone on Arbor Day after mucking the fish pond with me. It was his penchant for standing in front of our hose. Allow me to lead you through a few more vignettes of our wholeheartedly enjoyable, although admittedly smelly, Arbor Day exploits.
It is not usually enjoyable to lean into a scum-steeped hole to fill a bucket with algae and other unpleasant green things in order to clean a pit, devoid of fish, whose sole purpose of existence is fish. This is fun, however, on ILC’s Arbor Day, especially if Sam is around, jumping in front of the hose. Allison Schaller is avidly scrubbing the paint itself off of the walls. Jillian Gamble is decoding the cryptic hieroglyphics painted on the fish pond floor. Zach Sippert leans majestically against the railing, blasting the stray dirt and Sam with a mighty stream of hydropower.
There is a small hole a little larger than a quarter in the middle of the fish pond, which mystery naturally prompted a first-class, professional investigation conducted by myself and the other members of the pond mucking crew. Of course, our first assumption was that this hole was connected to a tube for recycling the water up through the now-derelict fountain, but we also discovered that it was filled with a near endless supply of water, and thus must either be directly connected to the aquifer or a rent in space-time. This mystery remains unsolved.
The only problem with our fish pond is that, as I have mentioned, it doesn’t have any fish in it. The most popular explanation I’ve heard is that when there are fish in the pond, certain birds are more than happy to remove them for us. The solution is to put a manatee in the fish pond instead and rename it the “Manatee Pond,” because most birds do not eat manatees.
We also found Atlantis at the bottom of the pool. We think.
We hope you have enjoyed this brief montage of the Arbor Day Pond Mucking Extravaganza. Give it a visit some time and bask in the cleanness of ILC’s very own fish pond.
By Aric Reim
By Megan Johnston
This gal is another type of committed. What a beam of sunshine she is
to everyone, not just to Flash members (even though she lights up our
meetings like none other), but to the whole school. Her persistent
attitude and ambition are refreshing and encouraging to all. A most
wonderful thank you to Trinity Mayhew, especially from me, for making
this volume of the Flash a memorable one.
Sincerely,
Megan Johnston
By Sam Radermacher
Garebear's Youtube Playlist
Dive into the exciting mind of the one and only Anthony Garibay. Listed are videos that Anthony has personally recommended that you watch on Youtube. If you ever feel bored and are looking for a laugh or are craving some epic Baroque music to jam to, this is the playlist for you.
-
Nearer, My God, To Thee | BYU Vocal Point ft. BYU Men’s Chorus
-
Gordon Ramsay’s Spicy Mexican Eggs
-
Piano woogie boogie massages for meow
-
Top 3 Mistakes Made When Mulching Trees
-
Darth Sidious/Emporer Palpatine- “It’s treason then”
-
Vivaldi's STORM (The Four Seasons - Summer) | Milan Řehák
-
Cow Thinks She’s a Dog | The Dodo
-
No need to be upset 10 HOURS LONG!!
-
Order 66, but it’s synced to A-ha’s “Take On Me”
-
J.S. Bach - BWV 582 - Passacaglia c-moll / C minor
We hope you have now been inspired to do great things.
D&D #9
"What the Classes are For"
Dungeons and Dragons: What the Classes Are For
As you play D&D, you will notice that your character is not good at everything. If you study this further, you will find out that his class can determine your roll in your party. While a barbarian might seem like a strong fighter, he will more than likely not be as skilled in magic as a sorcerer is. I will do my best to take the classes in the Player’s Handbook and put them into different categories based on what their primary uses are for a team (some classes may fit into more than one category).
Heavy Hitters: These characters are the ones who take down enemies with a single blow and don’t worry about taking a hit. Their mastery with weapons make them powerful threats against those with weak armor and slow movement. They are, however, not very talented with certain skills, such as investigation or stealth. These classes comprise barbarians, fighters, paladins, and some warlocks.
Support Units: These characters tend to severe wounds and heal their allies during combat. They also aid their fellow party members with bonuses to saving throws and/or skill checks. Some of them are able to take a hit, but others can’t afford it. Bards, clerics, druids, paladins, and some rogues are all support units.
Support Fighters: They may not be able to land as hard of blows as Heavy Hitters, but they are able to attack multiple times and are slightly better when it comes to the use of skills. They include druids, fighters, monks, and rangers.
Magic Users: They cannot survive long on the front lines, but they have plenty of tricks up their sleeves if they’re attacked. Magic wielders are able to deal heavy damage or damage that can pierce through special effects that could stop the average blade or hammer. From conjuration to pyromancy, magic is an impactful tool in any party’s kit. Druids, sorcerers, wizards, and most warlocks are classes that primarily use magic over anything else.
Skill Monkeys: They are not meant for severe fights or large amounts of magic, but they can cover virtually every skill that is needed for their party. While they are not the toughest in combat, they are the best when it comes to lock picking, persuading others, finding food in the wilderness, and detecting threats to themselves and their friends. Bards and most rogues are the skill monkeys of the team.
When you join a party, it is a good idea to try and find a functional combination of different types of characters (for example, a barbarian, a rogue, and a wizard). It is okay if your team is not entirely balanced by these different categories, but experimentation also may lead to you testing out a class that you have never played before.
By Zach Strike
Haiku Blues
School is almost out,
That is very exciting
Close to being done.
Pictures from Banquet
Field Day is coming up too
And also Class Day
Finals are next week
Schedules are very busy
End of the school year
As we all take off
Back home, back to family
Have a great summer!
By Rebecca Durst
Positively Living
I have said it many times, and I will say it many more--living with a positive attitude does not mean never being sad. After all, sunshine at all times makes a desert, and trees that receive no rain have shallow roots. As human beings, we need sorrow to help us feel true joy. Sadness is fleeting, and everyone goes through dark valleys. Without the valleys there are no mountains (and your cowgirl from Wyo loves those mountains). Knowing and accepting this, we can acknowledge that those dark valleys and ocean bottoms that can feel deeper than the Marianas Trench can be unbearable. How do we escape alive, emerging victorious and stronger than ever?
Being isolated from other people at times like these is the worst possible idea. When you’re going through a rough spot, go and find other people to be around, to talk to, to help you, or even just to get your mind off of things for the time being. Build up your army. If there’s no one around, go seek people out, message a friend and ask to hang out, and make new friends if it seems that everyone is busy. To be away from people when fighting sadness is a terrible idea, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time. If people turn out to be the problem, find new people.
In fighting with sadness, we should equip ourselves with proper armor and take up on good fighting ground. That is to say, surround yourself wholly with things that make you happy. For me personally, this includes things like people (see previous paragraph), tea, and the color yellow. After a rough day or hard week, I do my best to surround myself in yellow. It fills me with the sense of warmth and sunshine, driving away the frigid hand of despair. The color reminds me to keep my head up and smile, and to spread cheer the best that I can.
The most important thing when fighting sadness is not your army or surroundings, however. It is the weapon. Without the help of the Word of God, you are destined to fail. No matter how many valleys you cross, how many battles you fight, in the end you will lose unless you have the Lord. When lost in these low spots, it’s common to try to push God away, grumble, and do anything except go to God. Why do we do this when we need His help so desperately? When stuck in the doldrums, pray and meditate on His word. It is the weapon, strength, and healing, bringing us out on top every time.
By Trinity Mayhew
Q & A
You Ask, We Answer
What are some good house rules for UNO?
Here are some ideas:
-
Every time a certain number is placed, everyone must slap the discard pile. The last one to slap the pile must draw two cards.
-
Any time that you draw a cool colored card (blue and green), you must say “ooohhhh” and any time you draw a warm colored card (red or yellow), you must say “ahhhhh.”
-
When someone calls out “Uno,” the next person to correctly say the number of cards he has left (in Spanish, of course) gets to discard any one card.
-
Every time a wild card (or a different card if you want) is placed, you pass your cards to the person to your left (and receive them from the person on your right).
Advice for finals?
Hopefully this article will come out in time to do some good. I’ve been through five finals weeks now, and coming up on my sixth; there are a few things I’ve learned.
Firstly, scheduling is really important. As soon as you get the final schedule, memorize it. Put it on all your walls. Write it down in your assignment books. This schedule will help you determine how long you have to study for each of your subjects. Keep an eye out for the times of your most difficult classes.
Secondly, if you are a caffeine person, have tea or coffee or chocolate at the ready at all times. For me, at least, it doesn’t always matter how much time you’ve already spent studying on any one thing because the stress of the test makes me stay up late to study more. Unfortunately, caffeine doesn’t really work on me, so I just slap myself every now and then or jam (quietly with headphones on so as not to disturb other sleepers) to some Queen or Aerosmith. Music is a saving grace for staying up.
Thirdly, work out your study system. Everybody has a way in which he studies the best and it’s a good plan to know what kind of studying works best for you. If you’re an auditory learner, get someone to read your notes to you. Visual? Get out your highlighters and sketch some pictures too. Like more hands-on learning? Talk to your teacher about practicing some examples of what you’re learning in class or out.
When you’ve gotten your type of studying down, get your system sorted out. Decide when the best times for you to study will be. If you’re a morning person, get ready for some four a.m. hardcore sessions with Algebra. Night owls, most of us teenagers, get your coffee or Coke or cocoa and settle down under piles of not-too-comfy blankets and get going. Afternoon peeps, as soon as school is done, make as much time as you can to study. Decide how much time you want to spend on each subject and stick to it. Quizlet is a great tool at your disposal for studying, and so are the subjects of my next tip.
Finals week is a stressful time for us all. That’s why above most other things, I’d like you all to remember to still make time for your friends. They can help you study, they can get you coffee if they can drive, they can give you hugs when math decides to give imaginary numbers to work with. And school is only for this small portion of your lives, your friends can be for all the rest. So don’t forget to not forget them and love them and share some emotional support.
Good luck, everybody! I know you’ll all do an amazing job. God bless your finals!
Since kinetic energy is converted into thermal energy, how hard would I need to slap a chicken to cook it?
Well, the specific heat of chicken is 3.22 kJ/kg degrees Celsius. The chicken should be heated to 75 degrees Celsius, and normally starts at about room temperature (according to some sources, meat cooks best when it starts at room temperature), so about 20 degrees Celsius. Let’s also assume it is one kilogram of chicken. When you plug those into the energy transfer equation, the equation is energy transferred= (1 kg)(3.22 kJ/kg(degrees Celsius))(55 [change in temp]). When multiplied, that would equal 177.1. That means, assuming I did all this right, it would take 177.1 kJ of energy to cook a chicken, also assuming that all the energy is transferred into thermal energy. Also, fun fact I learned trying to answer this question: Chickens that are raised for food are called broilers.
Why is the sky blue?
Just so we’re clear: the ocean does not make the sky blue, as our teacher had to tell us back in sixth grade (I feel we took a few years off his life, or at least his years of teaching, just from that discussion). The sky is blue, in short, because sunlight is scattered by molecules in the air. The color blue is scattered more than others, giving the sky a blue color, because it moves in short waves.
Freshman’s opinions on the year/seniors?
First of all, the year. I don’t know how much I really believed everything that people have been telling me about high school since my first Visitors’ Day, such as how fast these four years go, how close you can be with both students and faculty, and how great having a God-centered high school is. I look back at this year, and it feels like just yesterday I was sitting in Prof. Rodebaugh’s room listening to his advice for the year, yet it feels like I’ve been at Immanuel for such a long time. I’ve met so many amazing people from all over, all of whom made this year great, and I’ll be sad to see some of them go, like the seniors. I may not know all of them, but I do know that the school will be lacking without them here next year. I know I’ll miss Megan’s funny comments, car rides with Lily, and Seth’s skits before choir. Even in sports, it was great having seniors willing to help guide us freshmen when we needed it (most of the time). While I’m sure they’re ready to leave, next year will definitely be different without them here, and they’ll be missed (even if some Profs won’t admit it).
By Kitara Mielke & Courtney Behlmer
We've all said the weirdest things. Yes, admit it. Let's take a few seconds of your day to just appreciate how odd and “special” we all are.
“I can't wait to find out if I'm a boy or a girl.”
“Can you braid skin?
“Killing a squirrel is cannibalism.”
“What makes me uncomfortable is that the singular of sheep isn't shoop.”
“Mmmmmmmm, food-food num-num.”
“I'm going to tell everyone that you lick freshmen.”
“You have meat hanging off your underarm.”
(With an exaggerated southern accent) “I just love hair. I pluck out a piece and put it in the food. Mmmmm, that's delicious. What's in it, ya say? It's a secret ingredient.”
“Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, my chompin’ bones.”
“Use ya sniffin’ holes.”
“It's not nice to be food.”
“Mmmmmmm, I love snorting tater tots.”
“How do we do CPR on a girl?”
“So, are grapes just chewable wine?”
“I touch people. It's not weird.”
“‘Rain on Tuesday.’ Well, we're gonna die.”
“Can you help me find my hand?”
And You Thought You Were Weird...
End of the Year Poem
By Suraya Williams and Marisa Konshak
Australia Doesn't Exist
Australia doesn’t exist. Some say that this fabricated continent is really a massive cover-up for Great Britain killing hundreds of thousands of prisoners at sea and saying they sent them to Australia. All airplane pilots and boat captains are in on it and whenever anyone “visits” Australia it is actually a cleared out section of land in South America that has thousands of actors paid to be “Australian.”
This is not the weirdest conspiracy theory there is; there are hundreds of very unusual ones. I'm going to cover just a handful of them.
Number One: The giant rock plateaus in some areas are actually tree stumps. There used to be enormous trees that an ancient civilization cut down, leaving their stumps, which fossilized and hardened over time.
Number Two: Not only was the moon landing fake, the moon doesn’t even exist. It is just a hologram.
Number Three: Hitler is still alive and is on the moon. He is now over one hundred years old.
Number Four: The Earth is hollow. Inside are ancient civilizations, jungles, dinosaurs, and aliens. They can be reached through holes at both of Earth’s poles.
Number Five: The whole world is run by lizard people. They run the government. They are really good at shapeshifting and politics. Mark Zuckerberg, for example, is definitely a lizard person.
Number Six: Birds are government surveillance drones. Tyler Radichel contends that all birds are surveilling us. Migration is also a ruse. The drones just head to a site to recharge. Nests are filled with Microtech. Each government is responsible for its own types of birds. That’s why some birds get along and others don’t. If they don’t, they are from two opposing countries.
Number Seven: Barack Obama can control the weather. During both his terms, President Obama deliberately manipulated the weather to deflect attention from the White House in times of scandal.
Number Eight: The dinosaurs helped build the pyramids. The dinosaurs were still alive during the time of the Egyptians and the helped them out with some heavy labor.
Number Nine: Hillary Clinton died of pneumonia and had a body double keep her campaign going in 2016.
Number Ten: The Beatles never existed. It was just a cast of actors.
By Sarah Fox
SPRING SPORTS Report
On a warm beach on an island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, there are three elders reclined on the sand, looking out at the waves. It seemed that the blistering sun could not affect their tough, tan skin, but two out of the three still wore caps. Every so often, a seagull sailed by, looking for a fish to catch.
“Look at that animal. He keeps his eye on his target,” said Old Man Baseball as he shifted his seat in the dunes. He was an aging man wearing shades and a USA polo, about as American as one could get.
“And look at the speed with which he dives!” exclaimed the ancient Lord Track over the squawking of the gull, which had swooped down upon his prey at that very moment. Lord Track was easily the oldest of them all, his skin so worn and wrinkly that it made one wonder what he must have looked like back in Ancient Greece.
The youngest of the three was a woman named Lady Softball. She sat perched on top of a sand dune watching as the seagull began flying away from them out toward the open ocean with the fish now clasped in its beak. Without a word, she scooped up a large round stone, wound herself up, and hurled the projectile at the bird. The two men, with their eyes, simply followed the rock as it sailed through the air and impacted, not the bird, but the fish in the bird’s mouth. It plummeted back to the safety of the open ocean, once again free. “That’s an error,” she announced with pride.
Old Man Baseball simply chuckled. “Oh, Lady Softball, surely you can do better than that,” he stretched out his legs and let out a loose groan as he hauled himself to his feet. Pulling out a dirty baseball from his pocket, he stepped to the edge of the water and got into his ready position, Levi Schaller style. In one fluid motion the ball left his hand and flew over the horizon and out of sight.
“Well, now you just lost your favorite toy,” mocked Lady Softball.
“Did I now?” Old Man Baseball patiently replied as he mentally counted down from ten in his head. Amazingly, as Baseball stretched out his hand, the ball returned to it, but from the opposite direction. All the dirt was completely wiped clean from the ball’s trip around the world.
Old Man Baseball turned to Lord Track with a look of triumph in his eyes. “Now it’s your turn to show us who’s best!” Baseball gloated, “What’s the matter? You afraid of something, like losing?”
The Ancient Track Lord simply looked up from his spot in the sand and quite plainly said, “I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.”
1,000 miles and 3 days
Was the devastating drive
I'd never been so scared
In my entire life--
Than when I felt
That I was leaving all behind.
Yet, as a bird to the air
Though not so graceful,
I presume,
The woods were taken
As a home.
Funny how
Friends become strangers
And strangers become friends
And the things we talk about most
Are the things we want to talk about least.
The miles went up,
Medals and metals.
Words grew. They filled up pages.
Memories did too. They fill the empty spaces.
Who knew penguins and poetry were so closely related?
I learned that you can live under the same roof as another
And never really know him at all, even after thirteen years.
But also that in a few short months,
He might become your best friend.
And ashes fell down from the sky,
Piling in heaps and drifts as she was burned yet again
As the trees in a forest fire, bringing new life
From madness and decay.
Ah, and the world must think I’m still mad,
Not at them. Not at anything--and not crazy, either.
For my brothers and sisters all stand at my side,
Smiling, beaming bright as the sun.
Hey you, we’re Joy
And sewing life back together.
You don’t know what you’ve done for me.
Hello, sweet girl,
You’ve opened up your home to me
And your heart as well, which I will ever cherish.
New sister,
You keep me sane, and make me smile
Mornings wouldn’t be nearly as good without you.
Two words, Seven letters
‘Help, Bud’, and that you did, without complaint.
In the foot race of life, you answered with advice.
Second,
Don’t let anyone get you down.
I don’t know a single person like you.
Keep smiling.
I know you better than
Some ‘lie detector.’
Always fine.
I’m so glad to have you in my life.
Soldier, oh, solder
There are so many things
That I doubt you remember- but thank you nonetheless.
That how as nomad kings; yell out unclearly,
I gift to you a riddle.
Because in coming,
I was fearful,
And in going, I know better.
For the Lord has given me strength.
And because of Him, I will be brave.
James 1:17- Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
By Sam Radermacher
By Trinity Mayhew
The ORGANIST
By Sam Radermacher
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