Senior Spotlight: Ashton Loomis
Senior Spotlight: Ryan Lang
Scott: Where and when were you born?
Ash: Helena, Montana, June 1, 2003
​
Scott: What is the best shape of chip?
Ash: Scoops
​
S: 27.5 or 29?
A: Personally 27.5 because I like the
balance of it
​
S: Advice for freshies?
A: Stop thinking that you’re the best in
town and you’re all cool and great and
everything, and that the world revolves
around you.
​
S: What is your dream home like?
A: Give me a half a second on this one……………(long think) fairly large, a nice homey feel with cushy couches, sweet Lazy-boys, a big garage, and it would probably be somewhere in Montana.
S: How was your weekend?
A: Uh . . . just peachy, crouton
​
Favorites
High School Memory: digging Scott out of the snow at Carson Park
Prof: Rodebaugh
Restaurant in Eau Claire: Texas Roadhouse
Color: Blue
Song: “Maybe Good Vibes” by Chris Jansen
​
Scott: (thinks he probably didn’t prepare a sufficient amount of questions and thinks of more questions)
​
Favorites - Part 2
Greeting: What’s shakin?
Favorite rapper: Logic
Sophomore: Noah
Workout: Pull
Scott: Ahh, a classic, “What 3 things would you take with you on a deserted island?”
Ash: Matches for sure, a hatchet, and a flashlight
​
Scott: What’s your love language?
Ash: French, no German or--Scott, sign language! *makes incoherent gestures*
Ella: How many choir sessions do you have your folder before losing it?
Ryan: A few; I just decided to stop bringing it.
​
E: What do you think you're known for on campus?
R: Not sure, probably just being weird, or memes.
E: What is your favorite cafeteria meal?
R: My favorite meal would probably be French Dip.
E: Describe your senior year in three words.
R: Is it over?
E: Where do you see yourself in ten years?
R: Either dead in a ditch, or living by myself or with a classmate.
E: When and where were you born?
R: I was born in Michigan sometime late in the night . . . 11:13 p.m.
E: What classroom is your favorite? Why?
R: All the classrooms are great because I can sleep in all of them.
E: What do you think of cannibalism?
R: My favorite thing about cannibalism is that it applies to almost everyone and is very useful in some situations.
E: What is so great about Tyler’s basement?
R: Tyler's basement is the best place to have fun. He spent a lot of time on it.
FAVORITES
Video game? My favorite video game is Halo because I remember playing it as a kid, and I love things that can bring me back to my childhood.
Video game theme song? Favorite theme song would have to be the entire Halo soundtrack because it is all pretty great music.
Prof? My favorite Prof. is Sullivan
Memory? My favorite memory is life in the dorm, particularly the showers.
Ryan Lang in ten years?
-Living in Tyler's basement, petitioning to make cannibalism legal.
-In a ditch following his dreams.
-Living in Tyler's basement.
Scott Lillo
Ella Bernthal
Usage of Fillers
Mason Garvens
Weird Things Heard Around Campus
"The sandwiches are not magical."
"All right. You flush the meat down the toilet."
"I cast detect magic on the sandwiches."
"How bad does it look? Do I need to cast resurrection?"
"I can turn invisible and then trip people!"
"They have schizophrenia? How about I just kill them and then cast resurrection and see if that helps?"
"If he gets mad that we woke him up then we just kill him and put him back again."
"I got my pants, so let me live."
“My husband was kidnapped…” “So you’re saying you’re single?”
“If you’re going to be killing a lot of people, you want to do it efficiently, right?”
Compiled by Suraya Williams
March 2021: Act 2
Ingredients:
-1 c. Brown Sugar
-1½ - 2lb. 80/20 Ground Beef (80% Lean)
-â…“ c. Balsamic Vinegar
-â…“ c. Soy Sauce
-1 tsp. Worcestershire Sauce
-1 lb. Baby Bella Mushrooms
-Salt
-Pepper
-4 Brioche Burger Buns
-8 Slices Swiss Cheese
-Butter
-1 tbsp. Corn Starch
Mason's Specialty Mushroom & Swiss Burgers
Flight or Flash
Serves: 4
​
Step 1:
Mix (in a small bowl) â…“ c. of balsamic vinegar, 1 c. of brown sugar, â…“ c. of soy sauce, and 1 tsp. of Worcestershire sauce.
​
Step 2:
Wash mushrooms, then cut into decently thick slices (there should be about 4-5 slices per mushroom)
​
Step 3:
Begin sauteing the mushroom slices in the sauce from Step 1. Saute until about halfway reduced (not completely soft, but with a little springiness still left)
​
Step 4:
Take out mushrooms from the sauce (make sure to keep as much sauce in the pan as possible), and put the mushrooms into a bowl or someplace to keep them until a bit later.
​
Step 5:
Separate ground beef into 4 equal patties(pretty flat not too thick, they scrunch up) and season with salt and pepper (be generous). Begin cooking in the sauce. Baste regularly. Cook until medium / medium-rare (pink center / very pink center).
Step 6:
Once again, leave the sauce in the pan. Put cooked patties onto a sheet pan and put 2 slices of swiss cheese on top. Put in the oven (Broil at 525) until the cheese is melted. (start Step 7 while waiting)
​
Step 7:
Finish sauteing mushrooms in the sauce, then add 1 tbsp. Corn Starch slowly while stirring to prevent clumping.
​
Step 8:
Butter buns and toast on a griddle pan.
​
Step 9:
Enjoy :)
Whether you were on Tour Choir or actually got a Spring Break, the majority of ILHS students left Eau Claire this past month. Now the question is: how many of these same students have flown on an airplane in the past year? 18 (36%) out of 50 students said that they have flown in the past year. 32 (64%) of these 50 people have not flown in the past year, or ever in their lives. According to Airlines of America, in 2017, 48% of Americans had flown on a plane in their lifetime. I think everyone should fly on a plane at least once in their life. It’s fun to take off and land, and you are usually going somewhere nice.
On a side note, 39 (78%) of these same students read parts of the Flash regularly. Eleven (22%) assured me that they never read the Flash. So I suppose I could say anything I want about them because they won't read this. The only thing that I will state is that about half of these 11 people were Freshmen. Hopefully everyone had a wonderful Spring Break.
Lydia Kettner
Crippled Corner
So, um, filliers and stuff are kind of a big thing in English. You might notice that, uh, people often use “uh” to stall for time when giving speeches, trying to remember things, and stuff like that. It’s kind of sad how deeply fillers have seeped into this language. Another form of fillers is, like, repeating what you just said in other words. If I just used different words to say the same thing, that would be a filler. Using ‘really’ instead of more detailed words is also a really common filler. Like, really. It would probably be a good idea to stop using fillers in our everyday language because it just makes things kind of awkward and shows our lack of like, social skills and stuff.
Triniti Mayhew
We’ve had many leg injuries in the past year and have decided to take a look back and interview some of those who were injured.
-
When were you injured?
It seemed that November and December were the most dangerous months.
2. How did you get injured?
Every person that I interviewed got injured by landing wrong in some way. Most were injured from basketball layups.
3. What are the dead ends on campus? In other words, what are the hardest places to go through?
If you ask this question, you will usually get a quick answer. “Uphill,” most of our participants responded. Downhill is also difficult, but not as hard. As expected, stairs are an annoyance.
4. If there are any, what are the benefits?
“Gaining a lot of patience.” - Joel Bernthal
“Everyone is really nice to you.” - Julia Mayhew
There were also a few unique answers such as: “I don’t have to play basketball.” or, “I get to hit people with crutches!”
5. What is the percentage of people who hold the door to people who forget?
Good job, everyone! We got an average of 90% with a high of 95% and a low of 80%.
6. What would be one thing you want people to know?
One responder said that although they like getting help, they want to still be independent, they can still do some things on their own. Another said, “Crutches aren’t fun when you have to use them,” and “Watch out for Josie!” One also responded as a friendly reminder, “Don’t hurt yourself.”
Be careful during this semester!
Song Dedications
“Prelude in C# Minor” by Rachmoninoff dedicated to Joel Kheune from Mason Garvens
“Five Percent Tint” by Travis Scott to Mason Garvens from Anonymous
“Fire and the Flood” by Vance Joy dedicated to Scott Lillo
Tchicovsky’s “Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture” dedicated to Tim Oster by Anonymous
“When I See You Smile” by Bad English to Trinity Mayhew by Mama <3
“Cassy O’” by George Ezra to anyone who’s needing a smile today by Triniti
“Thank You Mr. Bus Driver” dedicated to Bradley Leonard Nowak by the ILC Tour Choir
“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” dedicated to Jeri Nowak because your husband loves you very, very much.
“Sad Song” by We the Kings dedicated to Suraya Williams because you got it stuck in my head after I hadn’t heard it in four years.
“Too Good at Goodbyes” by Sam Smith dedicated to Prof. Reim--we’ll miss you.
Triniti Mayhew
Evan Kuehne
My Skiing Experience
First of all, I want to say that skiing is really fun despite this being my first time and all the negative things I experienced. Now to the actual experience.
My dad and I pulled into the Loveland Skiing parking lot and put on our skiing boots and walked over with our skis and rods to an area with tables. Those boots are not the best for running in, I can tell you that. Once I actually got my skis on, I had to get used to using the rods to pull me forward, which wasn’t easy going uphill. And these “hills'' were just small inclines. After getting used to the skis, which took a bit, my father and I got in line for the ski lift. Thankfully, I actually managed to get on the ski lift right the first time. Despite only being about 30 feet in the air, the view was breathtaking. Once it was our turn to get off I tried to slide down without falling, but I lost balance and fell. Getting back up with help from the worker there, I tried going down the actual skiing hill by myself. It was called “The Bunny Hill.” Naturally I tried to follow my dad’s advice and create a upside down “V” shape which he called “The Snowplow.” For some reason, though I tried, my legs kept moving to skis parallel to each other. This made me go out of control for a few seconds until I “wiped out.” It took me a minute to get up and I was soon back on my feet again. I fell again about two more times, probably more. The next time down was a little more smooth, but I still fell a couple of times. Eventually, we resorted to me holding on to my dad’s shoulders and I kept my skis inside his. We went down the hill a few times like that. The last time before a break, I somehow broke away from dad and went down the rest of the hill and came to a complete stop at the bottom. We took off our skis and Dad went inside to get some hot chocolate, one of the best cups I've ever had. We went straight back to the ski lift after that and when it was our turn to go I tripped and fell right before we were supposed to sit down so the ski lift operator had to stop it. After about three more times going down and falling I decided that I was done for the day. We packed up our stuff and left.
Overall, I think skiing was fun. Dad said that the snow was icy which made it harder, but other than that it went pretty well. I can say that if I had the chance I might go again.
John Sprengeler
The Rigors of P.E. Routines
Micah
John
In my opinion, the P.E. routines for the 9th grade class turned out pretty well. At least the final performance did, because I experienced real trauma during the practices. The group I was in included John, Matthew, Evan, and me. Evan sort of took over with his brains and brawn. Each day after school he made us do 150 jumping jacks, 200 push-ups, and if we didn’t get to the goal, he would take us up on the stage and whip our backs with jump ropes. All of us, even if two of us made all of the criteria in the time we were given.
We eventually made it through the practices with sore backs, legs, and arms.
We each had a solo as well, which meant more whipping if we got something wrong. For mine, I had to do three summersaults forward and backward. I got them the first time, so no whipping there. The next part was a duo with Evan and me, after John’s solo which he will tell you about later, and other vigorous routines. At first Evan and I jumped roped together and I messed up a couple of times, earning me an even more sore back.
You might think, “Why not just escape?” Well, Matthew tried once and was caught right away. That angered Evan beyond anything so we were whipped even more savagely than before, made to run Grover ten times, lectured about science and math stuff, and continued to practice the rest of the day. So, we never tried to escape after that incident.
The rest of my story is just more messing up, and more of Evan using his brains to bully us. As you can see, P.E. routines can be brutal . . . at least the practices, that is.
I would say that the P.E. routines for the freshmen class were pretty great. Especially the Finals, though I messed up on the running jump rope thing. It was the practices that were the worst. Our group, as the lovely gentleman Micah explained earlier, consisted of Matthew, Evan, and Micah, and me.
Evan started out fine, keeping the four of us in sync and together. Then soon after one of our magic experiments went rogue, Evan became . . . different. He was much more of a dictator than a leader. When practice started later that day, Evan yelled at Micah for being a second late. When I was trying to practice my solo, which was ten two-foot basic forward jumps, I messed up and was forced to run around the entire campus twice. To add to my suffering I was whipped with a jump rope for not coming back fast enough. Matthew, Micah, and I had wanted to choose our team name but Evan chose the name “Jmme,” and when I spoke up against him he lectured me about how important it is to love math. The next few days of practice were an absolute nightmare. Matthew was wrapped head to toe in jump ropes after he couldn’t stay with the rest of us for a few seconds.
The worst day of all was before the final. Evan “motivated” us to try as hard as we could by threatening to make us dance in front of the class if we didn’t.
Fear is what drove us.
I figured out two things that day: that I will never question Evan again if I’m in a group with him, and that I will do anything in my power to stay out of any group that has him in it.
This is my story.
CAUTION: This article is satire, and none of these things are actually true. Evan Kuehne is a wonderful human and we all love him very much.
A Spot of Randomness
Modern Slang
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
​
Spiral staircases in medieval castles run clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the invading army would climb the stairs, they would not be able to use their right hand, which was holding the sword, because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no trouble, except left-handed people could never become knights because they
were assumed to be descendants of the devil.
Americans, on average, eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Four out of five children recognize the McDonald’s logo at three years old.
If your stomach doesn’t produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks, it will digest itself.
101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, and Mulan are the only Disney cartoons where both parents are present and don't die throughout the movie.
The word “school” comes from the ancient Greek word for “leisure.”
Micah Fossum
Modern slang can be extremely difficult to use and understand, so we compiled a fairly comprehensive dictionary of some of the most modern slang.
Cap--Lying
"That's cap"--"That's a lie"
“No cap” is often used to emphasize truthfulness
​
Poggers--Play of the game
"That's totally poggers!"--"That was the coolest thing that's happened in this game (or situation/day)!"
​
Ily--I love you
Joining “TBH” and “OMG” in the category of slang that has developed from text slang into actual terms that people have started saying out loud, “ILY” (ill-ee) has become a way of saying “I love you” to your friends and family.
​
Tilted--When you start doing really badly at something you’re usually good at.
“After his really bad game, he got really tilted and had a horrible losing streak.”
​
Ice--Bling, Jewelry
“Hey, man, I like your watch.”
“Thanks, man, it’s icy season.”
Cold is also used to describe bling.
“My neck is so cold.” -- “I am wearing a nice chain/necklace.”
​
Pitties--Sunglasses
A brand of sunglasses, Pit Vipers. So I promise it’s not weird when someone says, “Oh! I forgot my pitties!”
​
Steezy--Stylish (adv.)
“That trick gets style points! It was very steezy!”
​
Bussin--Something that tastes good
“This sandwich be bussin!”
​
Cracked--Really good at
"He is cracked at Fortnite; he wins nearly all the time."
​
Toasty--warm
“Give me a sec, I gotta take my sweatshirt off. It’s kinda toasty in here.”
​
Clock--To notice
If someone is trying to hide something, and you notice it, you might have just clocked them.
​
Sus--Suspicious
Thanks, Among Us. Sus means that someone is acting suspicious. “You’re acting really sus, you must be the imposter.”
Mittens--Not good, but not bad either.
​
Simp--Someone who is over the top in doing nice things for a person they like.
“Triniti, you’re being SUCH a simp. Stop.” -Mason
​
We move--Let’s go.
“Wanna go get some t-bell?”
“We move.”
​
Sleeping on--Underrated/ignoring
“That place is really slept on, people should go there more often.”
“She’s sleeping on me. I just want a bit of attention.”
​
Whip--A car
​
Bet--Either “I agree,” or “challenge accepted.”
Very versatile. Can mean either yes or no. So good luck.
Some 70's Slang
Some of my formative years were in the 1970’s. Some of these expressions I personally remember either hearing or using. Others I came across researching and found them interesting. Maybe some are worth using again...but I doubt it.
​
“Can you Dig It?”
Is this something you can get behind?
​
“Spaz”
Someone accident prone, clutzy, or acting stupid
​
“Far Out”
Cool
​
“To the Max”
The best it can be
​
“Catch you on the flip side.”
See you later. (Referencing the alternate side of the record)
​
“Putz”
Someone who is constantly messing up
​
“What It Is!”
Hey, what’s up?
​
“Be there or be Square.”
You are not cool if you don’t show up
​
“Bogart”
To selfishly keep for yourself
​
“Cheese Weasel”
An annoying or obnoxious idiot
​
“Copasetic”
Very satisfactory
​
“Falaupoo”
Acting spacey or out of it
​
“For Rizzle”
Really? I didn’t know that.
​
“Funkadelic”
Awesome
​
“Fuzz”
Police
​
“Gnarly”
Cool
​
“Hairy Eyeball”
Somebody looking at you suspiciously or disapprovingly
​
“Make Groceries”
Go shopping
One book
Two book
Red book
Blue book
They will not have them here or there
They will not have them anywhere
There is no cat
There is no hat
There is no this
There is no that
They don't want his foxes
They don't want his boxes
They don't want his knoxes
Or colorful soxes
Thing Two they shoo,
And Thing One, they shoo too!
Oh, what a horrible thing that they do.
What will come next?
Cancel Winnie the Pooh?
Get rid of Horton,
And who will hear who?
One book
Two book
Red book
Blue book
A book is a book
No matter how small.
If you dare cancel one,
Why not cancel them all?
The strings in their heads are getting quite loose
They’re trying to cancel our dear Dr. Suess.
Suess
Triniti Mayhew
Triniti Mayhew and Scott Lillo
​
Prof. Joe Lau
Tour Choir
Spring break has come and gone, and with it, the 2021 tour of our own ILC choir. Let me tell you, it was quite an eventful week. We started the tour with a double header in Hecla, SD, and Jamestown, ND. The hotel at Jamestown had two waterslides, which the tour members occupied quickly in races against each other, despite one slide being twice as fast as the other. It was “hear” that Noah Buck developed swimmers' ear, which he later attempted to cure by pouring Doctor Pepper down his ear. Fortunately, this was the only ailment to affect the choir for the entire duration of the trip.
​
We visited the World's Largest Buffalo on our way to our next stop, Lemon, SD, where we all excitedly watched Prof’s reaction and jumped up and down to hear him say, “Here, buffy buffy buffy!” In Lemon, we visited a petrified wood museum before our concert, and I had the privilege to spend the evening with my parents while the rest of the choir enjoyed it at the pool. We traveled through the Badlands of South Dakota and arrived in Valentine, NE, where we stayed at a local motel. They gave us each a Valentine Nebraska shirt from my aunt's boutique. From Valentine, we traveled to Watertown, SD, stopping at the Dignity Statue. We arrived in Okabena, MN, after a day of sightseeing, including the Terry Redlin art museum and a beautiful waterfall park in Sioux Falls.
​
Our Okabena concert was held in the gym of the Kazemba's school, and about half of our guys stayed the night there. In the morning, we all came back for an hour or three of exploring, sports, music, movies, or just relaxing. The place was full of mystery and each turn held a new surprise. It spooked many and intrigued the rest of us. Our next concert was in Mankato. That night at the hotel, at about 10:30, we heard barking. Kaylee peeked her head into the hall, curious, and almost got her head snapped off by a dog and its angry looking owner. The barking lasted for a while, intensifying as we got closer to needing to sleep. Eventually, Henry went down to the front desk. By then,they had been getting calls about it for hours. The general manager kept calling the room and knocking on the door, but the dog owners were nowhere to be found. Eventually they came back, and the general manager told them they had to get out. They refused, and the hotel called the cops. Apparently, the dog owners demanded a full refund. The man had to call his parole officer, and the woman started crying, saying they had no money. This was the only hotel that would let them stay while the man was on parole, and he couldn’t leave the county until after his trial. Eventually they left, and one of our members counted at least four dogs leaving with them.
From Mankato, we went to Fridley, stopping at the Mall of America and Mill Ruins Park. Many members were particularly excited to go to Chick-Fil-A. After Fridley, we returned to campus, doing our usual awards ceremony and singing. We finished the tour the next morning at Millston.
​
While we definitely had some great stories from the tour, we have made some even greater friendships. We never thought we’d find someone as great as Dan the Man who’s driven us for years, but then he came. Bradley Leonard Nowak stepped into our lives and got trapped in it. His lively conversations and his new game of changing the colors of the bus lights quickly caught our attention and snagged the heart of the entire group. The Bradley Fan Club was formed, followed by The Bradley Fan Club Facebook page, followed by the entire choir being adopted by him and his wife, Jeri. We are proud to call Brad our dad. Thank you, Brad, for taking us to the far reaches of the earth and for the yellow lights. We will love you forever.
​
It was such a privilege to go on this tour and to spread the Word through song. We made memories and friends, strengthened bonds and drove each other a little crazy, but most importantly we had the opportunity to praise our Savior with people from many different places. We thank the Lord that he allowed us to embark on this journey, and for giving us good health along the way. We also thank Him that he gave us the joy of celebrating Professor Reim’s last year, and for allowing us to have him for the last thirty-three wonderful years.
Triniti Mayhew