Limaricks
Well, welcome back, I’ll say summer was quick,
But in long school months this will give you a kick:
It’ll just take a wink
If you follow the link
To a tasty Flash story and gold limerick.
By Aric Reim
A Novice in a Punnery: A Guide to Proper Word Plays
Word plays are worth it. Anyone who knows me should know this simple fact.
Ask you, why?
Let us see. Firstly, you can throw one in very nearly anywhere - a casual conversation, the comments below an article, a job interview, a presidential debate - just so long as it’s funny.
Secondly, everybody loves a punman.
Guys, take it from me. Ladies dig Wellerisms.
I could go on, but I don’t think I need to. And now that you’re convinced of the merits of puns, we must strike while the iron is hot. Most of you are probably already familiar with the most basic puns, so here I have compiled a list to bring you deeper from the surface into the word playing world. Please do enjoy:
Homographic Pun - A pun that is based off of two words which can be confuzzled due to their identical spelling, but different meanings. Example: Be careful when you go to the musical. I hear the actors have bows at the end.
Wellerism - Often the use of a well-known quotation followed by a facetious consequence. Example: “Speak softly and carry a big stick,” said the railroad tycoon to his workers when they loudly complained about the weight of the ties.
Non -Sequitur - A conclusion drawn from a previous statement that makes no logical sense. Example: “If Columbus can sail around the world and come back to me without turning around,” announced King Ferdinand, “it will prove that everyone really does have a double somewhere.”
Portmanteau - A newly invented word that humorously combines two or more other words. Example: Who was it that decided to call it a fine-tip marker, not a small-point pen?
Tom Swifty - A quotation that is made most punned by the way in which it is attributed. Example: “Could you pass the ketchup, please?” said Wilbur judgmentally.
Spoonerism - The reversal of sounds in a word or phrase to create new ones. Example: Don’t put all your begs in one ask it. (from Readers’ Digest)
Of course there are more wordplays. Of course there are various classes of puns, and palindromes, and Janusisms, and paraprosdokians, and who knows what else, but this is enough to get you started. Perhaps later we may delve still deeper into this wonderful world, but until then… good luck.
Well, we're back to school and finally getting into the swing of things again. With everything once again turning into habit, let's add some spice to your pumpkin latte, honey to your tea, or mint to your hot chocolate with a few new jams.
The Hum in Autumn
By Cassidy Noeldner
Newbs:
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Genesis - Acoustic Version (ARMORS)
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The Right Time (French Horn Rebellion)
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I Like Me Better (Lauv)
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Ophelia (The Lumineers)
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What Do I Know? (Ed Sheeran)
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The Beautiful Game (RAC, St. Lucia)
Oldies:
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Ticket to Ride (The Beatles)
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You Can't Run From Love (Eddie Rabbit)
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Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)
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I Can See Clearly Now (Johnny Nash)
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Stuck In The Middle With You (Stealers Wheel)
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Listen To The Music (The Doobie Brothers)
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Sister Goldenhair (Amerca)
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I'm Into Something Good (Herman's Hermits)
“Nigglywiggly” is the actual name of the little paper flag thingy sticking out of the top of Hershey’s kisses.
Bananas are curved because they grow towards the sun.
Human saliva has a boiling point three times that of regular water.
A baby octopus is about the size of a flea when it is born.
Ninety-five percent of people text things they could never say in person.
About 8,000 Americans are injured by musical instruments each year.
Pirates often wore earrings because they believed it would improve their eyesight.
The Twitter bird is known to be named after former NBA player, Larry Bird.
By Julianna Hein
RandoM Facts
Canadian Corner
Bonjour! Comment était ton été?? Hello! How was your summer? As a Canadian, we need to venture off to find warmth even in the summer months. So I managed to scrape a few loonies together and I was given the opportunity to go to Europe! What an incredible experience that was! The sweet warmth was along the coast of the French Riviera in July. If you can, it's something I hope everyone has the chance to do in his or her lifetime. Of course, I also got my fair share of rain and clouds in England; but one thing we never got enough of was the fish and chips. Now, as some of you may know, I brought someone back with me to school this year. A “show and tell” you might call it. My sister! Way up north we get quite lonely you see, so naturally I couldn't leave her there on her own. So she decided to hop on the bandwagon and come south (I bet not many of you are used to Wisconsin being referred to as being ‘south.’). You'll be pleased to know she likes you all so far. But once again, you've done an awful job in disproving the stereotype that is, "All Americans are dumb.” Man, some of you are stupid (for lack of a better word). After asking Mackenna the types of questions she’s been approached with, this one is my favorite: “Do you guys get paid to live up there?” Haha, you’d be surprised how many of you guys refer to Canada as “up there.” Anyways, now that my sister is here, it can be disputed that I have started something of a trend. Not that I was the first Northerner, nor the last; I will take this time to formally accept your thanks of blessing you with the loveliness that is more Canadians. Haha! Blessings to all on their school year. Have a happy September! Signing out from Maple Leaf Road, Moose Town, B.C.
By Megan Johnston
SENIOR SPOTLIGHT: JUSTIN WINTERS
You know the usual (when and where?).
August 24, 1999 (“I don’t know where I was born.”)
Plans for next year?
(after stretching tiredly and asking Jordan and Joel for some input) There are too many liberals at college. I’m either going to a tech school for a welding program or I’m going to start my own carpentry business.
Freshman year funny stories?
The whole year was a funny story. Jordan: Hanging out as a group was our funny story.
Describe your life using film titles.
“The Patriot,” “Muscle of Dogs,” and “Faith Like Potatoes.”
If you were in the crayon box, what color would you be and why?
I’d be Forest Green (“the bomb”) because I like to be in the forest.
What will you miss most about Immanuel?
Joel.
Favorite High School Memory (or one of them)?
The first time Troyal, Josh, and I went to the grotto.
If you could do one thing that could improve ILC, what would it be?
I would build a giant swingset.
JUSTIN'S FAVORITES
Food: All of them
Movie: Patriot
Class: Art
Book (besides the Bible): Are You My Mother?
Prof.: Prof. Kranz
Year: This one
Animal: Eagle
Passage: Psalm 116:8-9 “You, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.”
The cross country team this year added three freshmen runners: Ashton Loomis, Tyler Radichel, and the only runner on the girls team, Suraya Williams. Those who returned from last year’s team are: Dan Lau, Henry Lau, Austin Karow, Daniel Masker, Levi Wittorp, Sam Radermacher, Zach Strike, and Jacob Hammond. The team also kept its two great coaches from last year, head coach Steve Sydow and assistant Nathan Buck. Coach Sydow says that he wants to see the runners improve this year both individually and as a team. He also put an emphasis on letting our light shine and using our gifts to God’s glory. Both the coaches also agreed that having fun was a good goal to strive for as well. The team will be led this year by not only the coaches, but also the senior runners, especially Dan and Austin, who have four years of experience and individual state appearances under their belts. The star athlete, Dan Lau, who placed 7th at state last year, said that he wants to see the team win conference and go to state. He also stated that his favorite part of being part of the cross country team is “the atmosphere.” I must agree that it is nothing short of clean fun. So if you have some time this year, you should go see an Immanuel cross country meet before it’s too late.
CROSSCOUNTRY
By Henry Lau
SOCCER
The soccer team this year is once again being coached by one of the greatest soccer coaches of all time, if not the greatest, Steve Sippert, whom I was not able to speak to before I wrote this article, so I missed out on some sage advice and sensible soccer tips. The team has already played four games this year, and they’ve put up a good fight, but have come up short in all of their games so far. The team still has nine games left to play, and I know that I’m especially excited to see their game on September 16. It will be played at Bollinger Fields, and we will be playing none other than our greatest rival, Immanuel Mankato. They have a few other good games coming up soon, so you should try to pick one to go to and support your Immanuel United soccer squad. One of the seniors on the team this year, Jesse Wilke, said that his goal for the team this year is to win as many games as possible. He also said that his favorite part of being on the soccer team is “pointlessly running across the field doing nothing.” Sam Oster, another soccer star who lives and breathes soccer, said that his favorite thing about being on the team is the practices and that his least favorite part is “the stinky shoes.” His goal for the team is to win 100 games. I’m not sure if he knows what he’s talking about, but it’s a very ambitious goal nonetheless. I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to see how the soccer team does this year. Go Lancers!
By Henry Lau
VOLLEYBALL
We are about to embark on one of the more exciting sports for fans. Volleyball! For you freshmen, the atmosphere of a volleyball game is more lit than that of any other. This is partially because everyone is able to come and the guys are able to cheer because they aren’t playing anything else this time of year. Another major factor in the litness of volleyball games is the fact that the team is usually pretty good. This year I’m sure will be no exception. There are some large shoes to fill, however, with the graduation of the leading all time hitter from Immanuel, Emily Johannes. That being said, there are plenty of young ladies ready to step up and fill that role. When I asked Prof. Lau about which players he thought would have a large impact this year, he commented that they all will from the starting outside hitter to the end of the bench. When asked who will have a breakout year he said, “I think our fans will be surprised.” As for the team as a whole, he would like one error free set this year and would like the team to improve upon their blocking. Fan support is what Coach Lau thinks will be the biggest factor to success. Let’s go out and support our team this year!
By Josh Gerbitz
FLAG FOOTBALL
After one week of flag football we know a lot about what will happen this year. In the first week, Jonah Albrecht’s team dominated Jesse Peterson’s. Zach Sippert’s team narrowly defeated Austin Mayhew’s. Jonah’s team came out slinging. Jonah played a great game at quarterback along with his two main receivers, Byron Acha and Joey Bailey. Jesse gave the quarterback reins to Jordan Rutz who is looking for one of his young receivers to step up and be his go-to guy this year. Zach’s team had Levi Schaller play a great game at quarterback with Josh Gerbitz and Gabe Plath both making big plays in the receiving game. Austin is his own quarterback and had the home run pass work for him twice as he connected with his brother, Troyal Mayhew. Both resulted in touchdowns. It will be an exciting rest of the year for flag football, and it will be interesting to see how it shakes out recordwise.
By Josh Gerbitz
By Aric Reim
Movie review: Pirates of the Caribbean V
The new Pirates of the Caribbean movie has come out to the theaters. Is it as good as the others movies in the series? That's what I went to find out. The following are my opinions and ratings for Pirates of the Caribbean V: Dead Men Tell No Tales.
This movie, unlike the others movies in the series, is set seventeen years in the future, with Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan’s son, Henry, as a main character. The plot revolves around Jack Sparrow, an astronomer, named Kaya Scodelario, and Henry Turner, trying to find Poseidon's staff to break all the curses at sea.
There are some new actors in this movie as well as some old ones. Johnny Depp (Jack Sparrow) who is all too familiar in the Pirates of the Caribbean series is back for one more. We get a glimpse of how Johnny portrays a young Jack Sparrow in a scene, which is my personal favorite. We are also introduced to some new characters such as a young astronomer woman, Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario) and Brenton Thwaites (Henry Turner).
My overall rating for this movie is four out of five stars. Many reviews have said this movie is the second best in the series. I think it is the third best one, but it was a very good movie that had its pros and its cons just like any other movie.
I highly encourage everyone to watch this movie for themselves and have their own opinions about it. I enjoyed it and I hope everyone else does too.
By Sarah Fox
Fake News with Nathan Buck:
Discovery Leaves Scientists Baffled!
On April 1, 2013, on a rainy, overcast day in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, farmers Sam Radermacher and Tara Gerbitz discovered a new species while in their field. Alive? No, it was just over 5,000 years old, fossilized in the ground.
Said Gerbitz: “I was digging; there I was; I was there; right there in the woods, and boom! I had the great idea to start digging a hole to China. And...then...there was...a fossil!”
Witness reports have Radermacher “jumping up and down, and running through campus, shouting, "We found a fossil!’” but such a report is disputed by Rademacher.
“I just calmly asked Tara for a shovel and dug deeper,” Radermacher said when asked how he reacted. “It was a very nice pit when we finished.”
Experts from many notable universities such as Oxford and the University of Vienna have confirmed their story. In fact, this fossilized student, known by its Latin name “Gare-Bear,” was the first of its kind to be discovered in the Campadoccian area, which will give scientists and archaeologists great insight into how these ancient students lived and survived in these lands once thought to be uninhabited.
Laborers were brought in to carefully remove, document, and store the evidence for shipping to Oxford College in London.
Henry Lau, a digging contractor and experienced fossil hunter in charge of the dig site workers said, “It took 24 weeks of long, hard labor. We used spoons from the nearby cafeteria.”
As soon as the dig site workers finished, the experts stepped in to examine the scene.
“First I thought it looked like a Neander-Noeldner, or possibly even a Krause-Sapiens,” said Dr. Aric Reim, of Oxford University with a PhD in archaeology. “But I took a second look and found a strand of black hair. Get aware: Gare-Bear hair is rare. Say that five times fast.”
It was at this moment that the scientists agreed on a preliminary verdict, explained Dr. Jenna Mielke (Professor of Anthropology, UC-Berkeley): “This was indeed a fossilized Gare Bear-- a type of ancient, prehistoric student--and that judging by the discovered attire he had once been very, very dangerous...and musically talented.”
Still being asked is how Gare Bear became encased in the layer of dirt and sand that is our baseball outfield today. Or, as Dr. Mielke said, “Perhaps the baseball field was once a much warmer, tropical place, and home to a tribe of nomadic Gare Bears and many more students such as the Sotnyksaurus and the ferocious Schwartz. Who knows what other fossils are here?"
Dr. Miranda Fleischer of the University of Vienna had something to say on this debate.
“I agree, Gare-Bears prefer much warmer climates, but I can’t help but wonder if this was a product of the Townie-Dormie type cataclysm that happened in 20,000 B.C., or maybe he is just another fatal case of Senioritis.”
Many others agree with Fleischer's theory of Senioritis, but a few are skeptical.
Said Dr. Karen Johannes, Doctorate in Biology from Penn State: "I don't even know what's going on? Are you all just playing along with this? Garibay's not even a senior!"
“Gare Bear’s just a good, normal kid,” said Hope Mayhew, a dairy farm owner and neighbor to farmers Radermacher and Gerbitz. “I can’t see why he got to be a fossil in the first place.”
In a bizarre turn of events, the fossil himself blurted, “Has anyone seen my keys?” Soon after he was silent again.
While the digging and theorizing still continues, most remain indifferent to the events happening across their campus.
However, Paul Heinze, maintenance chief at nearby Immanuel Lutheran High School, was very pleased with the dig operation.
“Um...it was scary, but also kinda exciting because this kind of thing’s never happened before. It will bring a lot of publicity to the school, and I am very glad.”
It only begs the question: how many more fossilized students are waiting to be discovered? This and more, next time on Fake News.
Dorm life
If you walk into the girls’ dorm, one of the first things you probably notice is the strong aroma of popcorn and body spray. Dorm life definitely has its ups and downs, especially when second semester rolls around, when it feels like every adventure has already run its course, every penny already spent. At that point you are probably just about ready to go home. But just when you think things could not be more dull, someone sleepwalks right out of the dorm in the middle of the night, or falls off their bed almost cracking their head open. These sorts of events tend to leave you and your friends laughing for days.
Being a teenage girl, one of the questions I am asked most seems to be, “Where do you go to school?” My answer is always quite a conversation starter leading to even more questions such as, “Is it an all girls school?” “Do you wear uniforms?” and “How do you like living in a dorm?” The last question listed always seems to stump me quite a bit. Do I like living in a dorm? It definitely has its high and low points. Living with your friends is always a blast . . . Until you grow sick of them. Getting away from your parents and siblings is refreshing . . . Until homesickness starts to kick in. After a year in the dorm, I think I have decided I do not like it, but at the same time, I do not think I would be able to live without it. Dr. Seuss says, “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” I think these words are very relatable when it comes to living in the dorm. It may not seem like an ideal situation now, but in a few months you are going to be hundreds of miles away from your tiny dorm room wishing for the jokes, friends, and memories that came out of that room.
To all you townies who wish you lived in the dorm with all your closest friends, don’t. Although you may miss out on a lot of fun times, you are blessed to be able to go to such a wonderful school, go home to your parents and family every night, and be able to make even better memories with them all at the same time. But, to all the dormies that just want to go home, get out of your room, find some friends, and make the best out of this blessing God has given you.
By Melanie Gerbitz
top 10: mlb teams
The race for October is on in baseball. With the regular season games ending on Sunday, October 1, the AL and NL wild card games will be played on October 3rd and 4th, respectively. The AL wild card race is as tight as ever right now, with plenty of teams in contention for the final spots with just a month of baseball left. The NL race isn’t as close, but we could see some surprises (I honestly don’t see the Brewers passing up the Rockies, though). I’ll now go over my Top 10 MLB Teams. I’ll take five from the NL and five AL. Some honorable mentions to the list include the Milwaukee Brewers, Miami Marlins, my Minnesota Twins, and the Baltimore Orioles.
10. Los Angeles Angels
The Angels’ rotation certainly doesn’t look the best on paper, but it has been pretty decent. JC Ramirez is leading the staff with 11 wins, and Parker Bridwell has been a pleasant surprise for the Halos through his first full season. He has a 2.89 ERA and a 7-2 record through 14 starts. It was certainly tough to have two time MVP Mike Trout hurt for a good part of the season and now struggling with injury again. When Trout has been around, he’s brought 26 home runs and a .318 batting average to the table, and he has been as impressive as always. Big moves were made by the Angels in the past couple of days with additions of second baseman Brandon Phillips and former Detroit all-star, Justin Upton. Los Angeles is three games over .500 right now, and I think they can take the final wild card spot in the tight AL race.
9. Colorado Rockies
Colorado took the MLB by storm early off in the season. They now sit in the second wild card spot in the NL, and I think that is where they’ll stay come season’s end. In a top-heavy NL West, the Rockies are a solid 11 games over .500. Outfielder Charlie Blackmon has been as impressive as his beard is long. He has put up gaudy numbers this season with a .339 batting average, 32 home runs, 182 hits, and a .401 on base percentage. I haven’t even mentioned Nolan Arenado, DJ LeMahieu, or Mark Reynolds yet. These three also contribute to making the Rockies the offensive juggernaut that they are. The starting rotation in Colorado is a bit questionable, as they tend to be, but closer Greg Holland has stayed strong with 36 saves thus far.
8. New York Yankees
As much as I hate to say it, the Yankees have looked pretty good this season. Aaron Judge is reason enough to give New York the nickname “The Bronx Bombers.” Although he has been struggling with strikeouts and his numbers have gone down a tad, he still has 37 home runs on the year and has a much less talked about cannon of an arm out in right field. The Yankees made a whole lot of headlines during the trade deadline and brought in starters Sonny Gray and Jaime Garcia, giving them more pitching depth. Third baseman Todd Frazier was also brought in for help. There have potentially four qualified closers on this team. Aroldis Chapman, David Robertson, Tommy Kahnle, and Delin Betances are all great bullpen pieces. I think the Yankees will hold up in the first AL wild card spot through the season.
7. Arizona Diamondbacks
Sitting in the first wild card spot in the NL, at 16 games over .500, are the Diamondbacks. Bringing in former Detroit outfielder JD Martinez was a great move before the trade deadline. Paul Goldschmidt is putting up tremendous numbers, yet he still remains to seem like an underappreciated player. Batting .318 with 32 homers and over 100 RBIs certainly isn’t an easy task in the MLB. This will already be his third 30 plus home run season with 100 plus RBIs. Zack Greinke has been the same dominant pitcher this season. The D-Backs sit third in the majors, with a team ERA of 3.66. This team has all the pieces to make a deep run in the postseason.
6. Chicago Cubs
We all know about the historic season putting an end to 108 drought that went down just less than a year ago. Can the Cubbies do it all over again? They started off the season in a slump, but now are on top of the NL Central. It all seemed to get better just after the All-Star break, when they brought in lefty Jose Quintana from the other side of Chicago. Kyle Hendricks, Jake Arrieta, and John Lackey are all solid starters as well. The offseason addition of Wade Davis was a key move to fill the closer role. First baseman Anthony Rizzo leads the team with a hefty 30 home runs and 94 RBIs. Now let’s see if these Cubs have another World Series in them.
5. Boston Red Sox
Twelve games over .500, the BoSox are ahead of the rival Yankees in the AL East. Boston has impactful offensive and defensive studs in Mookie Betts, Andrew Benintendi, Hanley Ramirez, and youngster Rafael Devers. Mitch Moreland at first base also provides stellar defense to the Sox. Rick Porcello isn’t having quite the same season as last year on the mound, but he has still been a decent starter. Drew Pomeranz has done quite well so far also. But the real star of the staff has been lanky Chris Sale. A 15-6 record through 27 starts and a 2.77 ERA with 264 strikeouts this season seems like enough to give him the AL Cy Young Award. He certainly is the guy no opponent is going to want to face in the postseason.
4. Houston Astros
Houston had a very hot start to the season. They’ve been struggling this past month, which drops them to number four on the list, despite being 27 games over. 500. The Astros have potentially the best roster, loaded with talent all around. The injury to all star Carlos Correa is devastating to the ball club, but it looks like he could be returning in the near future. Jose Altuve has had an amazing .353 batting average so far. His speed on the base path has given him a total of 29 stolen bases. Houston has an MLB leading 729 runs this season. Starter Dallas Keuchel has had some injuries as well, but he is getting healthy. A major move was recently made by the Astros as they have acquired former Cy Young winner Justin Verlander. This is a huge addition to an already good pitching staff. The Astros are on top of the AL West and look to make a World Series run for the first time in a long while.
3. Cleveland Indians
As a Twins fan, I know how deadly the Tribe can be, as we play them way too much all season long. Former Cy Young winner, Corey Kluber, has been great with 13 wins and a 2.63 ERA. Cody Allen is an underrated closer, and Andrew Miller has been a workhorse in the pen again this year. Cleveland had some power last year, and they added a whole lot more over the offseason when bringing in Edwin Encarnacion from Toronto. Shortstop Francisco Lindor is still the same defensive dynamo and has some pop in his bat with 25 homers. The Indians have great hitters throughout the lineup. They are on top of the AL Central currently and could very well find their way back in the Series, which they lost in heartbreaking fashion a year ago.
2. Washington Nationals
Thirty games over .500, the Nationals have a firm grip on a spot in the postseason. My personal favorite pitcher in the big leagues, Max Scherzer, isn’t just known for having two different colored eyes. He has a tremendous 2.21 ERA, along with 13 wins through 25 starts. He has five 10 strikeout games through his last ten starts. I believe Scherzer deserves another NL Cy Young in his trophy case by season’s end. Washington brought in key relievers Sean Doolittle and Brandon Kintzler before the trade deadline. Great offensive seasons by Anthony Rendon and Ryan Zimmerman have contributed to the large success as a team. Now they will just have to hope that Bryce Harper and the 29 homers in his bat can get healthy and back on the field.
1. Los Angeles Dodgers
The Dodgers are having an outstanding year, with over 90 wins and over a month left to play. It should be no surprise that they reached number one on the list. Even with ace Clayton Kershaw missing a lot of time with injury, they haven’t a lost a beat. Rich Hill and Alex Wood have been great all year. Young players like Cody Bellinger, Chris Taylor, Yasiel Puig, and Corey Seager have been outstanding. Red-bearded third baseman Justin Turner has provided excellent defense and is rocking a .328 batting average. The LA Dodgers have all the tools it will take to win the World Series. Now, they just have to take this momentum through the end of the season and storm into the postseason.
By Nathan Buck
By Dan Lau
FALL...
Kaitlyn Brandle: leaves
Cassidy Noeldner: hot chocolate
Kaitlyn Berman: winter
Carter Kisor: snow
Seth Miller: Saturdays are for the boys
James Sullivan: Saturday Night Football
Byron Acha: cheerleaders
Jesse Peterson: uniforms
Gabe Plath: sports
Lily Meyer: varsity
Stephen Krause:
WORD ASSOCIATION
...Stephenie Kazemba
By Julianna Hein
Is Cheating Really That Serious?
Just admit it, you have cheated at some point (and I'm not talking about dating). Imagine it: you're sitting in class and working on a test. You then reach a question that you just instantly get stumped on. Your body then escalates from calm mode to panic mode. The only thing you think you can do is look on the test of the person next to you. You try to make sure no one else is looking at you performing this mischievous act. Admit it, all of us have been there before. But we have to ask ourselves, is this a really huge problem?
Even though you don't really see people cheating often, it doesn't mean it isn't common. According to a study done in June 2017, 43,000 high school students were surveyed, and 64 percent admitted that they have cheated on a test in school. Fifty-eight percent of students admitted to plagiarism, and 94 percent admitted to cheating in school, whether it was on homework or a project or any other type of school work. In 2014, 18,000 middle and high school students were surveyed, and 66 percent admitted to cheating on exams. Also, 80 percent have admitted to letting someone copy off of their homework, and 58 percent have admitted to plagiarism. I don't know about you, but I think this may be a little proof that cheating in school has become a very serious problem.
What do you think? Has cheating actually become a serious problem, or has it not. Personally, I think that this is serious. There are many students who care so much about getting a good grade in school that they would risk stealing someone's answer with the possibility of getting caught by a fellow student or a teacher. Just think about that for a while, along with those statistics, then decide whether or not this is a problem.
By Miranda Fleischer
SENIOR SPOTLIGHT: DAN LAU
Where and When?
October 4, 1999
What three things would you bring with you on a Tropical deserted island?
Food, beverage, croquet
College plans?
Hopefully run for Eau Claire cross country and track
No idea education-wise
Secret to being such a good runner?
Levi Schaller: Phenomenal muscle structure
Ideal running weather?
Cloudy, nice breeze, not too warm, not too cold
One mile or two?
Two mile
Advice to underclassmen?
Don’t get kicked out of choir
DAN'S FAVORITES
Color: blue
Prof: Kranz (dad doesn’t count)
ILC food: Baked ziti and meatballs
Class: World History
Bible passage: John 16:33
Cousin: Zack Sippert
Memory: BK La Fri a Fi
DAN IN TEN YEARS...
Jenna: World-renowned CC coach; still terrified of dogs; still walks too fast
Henry: Under my bed
Levi Schaller: Resurrects the Pony Express and becomes CEO of Dan Lau Delivery
Prof Lau: Living in my basement and having Jenna over on Sundays
By Julianna Hein
By Miriam Whitenight
