Dear Seniors
For the twenty-three high school seniors, college is a creeping fear for many. The stress of planning a path for our future can get to you . . . easily. While some students don’t plan on continuing to college, some have already applied, and the lucky are admitted; the unlucky are floundering without a plan.
Some of us have started taking college classes, either online or at UWEC. But while it may seem these students have it all planned out, things still could change. It feels great to get ahead, but venturing into something new always has a risk of figuring out that you aren’t really where you should be. Many students go into college undecided; others go in with a certain plan but end up on a different track altogether.
Don’t worry seniors, we’ll figure it out together. This POD unit certainly puts the pressure on, though, doesn’t it?
By Dannie Gamble
FRESHMAN LIFE
By Kitara Mielke & Trinity Mayhew
Depending on how many years you have been going to Immanuel, your freshman year may not be in the clearest of your memories. Your perspective of school also can change the more time you spend in it. Thirty-three freshmen came to Immanuel Lutheran High School this year, and so far, they are loving it.
Many, if not all, of this year’s Freshman class were really excited (and nervous) to start the year. Charlotte Carstensen and Joscelyn Wirth said that it is both better and easier than they expected so far. Daniel Hein commented that “people are very welcoming, and it’s not as stressful as I thought it would be.” Immanuel can be quite a bit different depending on what school you went to before this: having more independence and classrooms and bells. Most people come from schools that were smaller, with fewer classrooms and teachers. Others, however, come from places larger than this. Either way, it can be quite a change.
Although upperclassmen have warned just about everyone that the homework really hits next year, the plentiful study halls and scarce homework help many freshmen get involved in activities around the campus. Some of the most common activities are sports, Leave it Better, and creative opportunities such as Crossroads or Friday Night Writes. Freshmen have also taken up the tradition of walking to ShopKo with their friends. They look forward to the performing arts opportunities. Many freshmen participate in band and are looking forward to auditioning for Tour Choir, the play, and the musical.
Even though it’s only three weeks into the school year, favorite things around the school are already forming. Two of the most favored profs are Prof Rodebaugh and Prof Lau, which is slightly weird seeing as they are the first three classes of the day, but both of their energetic and unique personalities seem to entertain this year’s freshmen and keep them on their toes. A favorite class as of now is Health, since there’s never really a strict topic. A favorite memory for Joscelyn Wirth is Prof Rodebaugh jumping over a counter yelling “PARKOUR” (to demonstrate what not to do in life).
While most hoped for are that grades stay high and most predicted are, well, pretty random things, such as that it will snow on November 3rd. One thing can be for certain: this school
year and years to come will be ones to enjoy.
“A ton of gummy bears carried away our house while singing the gummy bear song. I was really scared at the time.” -Benana Ostrich
“Johanna and I were sitting in the Yukon, and Johanna’s like “OK, start the car.” And so I tried to start it, and then it started like smoking and making really weird noises so we ran out and she started yelling at me, and then my dad told me to open the hood and I didn’t want to get near it. Then I did and I burned my hand and it was terrifying.” -Likely Meynards, Student Body President
“We went to the Grand Canyon and it filled up with water and I fell in and found this fish and it gave me the ‘pearl of wisdom,’ which I used to find my way back home.” -Morgy Bear
By Björn Schierenbeck
RandoM Facts
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A single cloud can weigh more than 1 million pounds.
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One in every five adults believe that aliens are hiding in our planet disguised as humans.
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The average person spends 6 months of their lifetime waiting on a red light to turn green.
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A human will eat on average 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders while sleeping.
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Coca-Cola would be green if coloring wasn’t added to it.
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A coyote can hear a mouse moving underneath a foot of snow.
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New York drifts about one inch farther away from London each year.
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A U.S. dollar bill can be folded approximately 4,000 times in the same place before it will tear.
By Julianna Hein
I've been dreaming. . .
The Long Drive
At 5:15 A.M. my alarm blares in my ear. I roll out of bed and start my day. Having been home schooled for five years, I find waking up this early quite a change. I ride for two hours a day, one to Eau Claire and one home to Cameron. My parents, on the other hand, drive for four hours. On my drive I see trees, houses, cows, and an occasional horse. During the ride, there is nothing too exciting, so I usually talk to my mom, do my homework, or even sleep.
I come from a family of two kids. Skylar, my sister, went to North Central University in Minneapolis, and we would visit her often. We would also take many family trips in the car across the country. Because of these trips, I am used to being in the car for long periods of time. I choose to be driven to Immanuel Lutheran because I value a Christian education and the school experiences that come with it.
By Hailey Johnson
Random Peoples Oponions On...
DR. PHIL
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Allison Schaller- “I haven’t really watched the show, but he makes me think of crying people. I respect him for dealing with and fixing them.”
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Sam Radermacher - “He is an honest and kind man with a loving spirit, and great with the kids… I recommend this show to anyone looking for a good time and a way to escape their problems by looking at other people’s problems.”
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Prof. Sullivan - “Dr. Who?”
Now the negative results…
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Prof. Kranz - “ I don’t watch him; my sister loves him and watches him faithfully. I just think he’s another money making head on TV. He pours gasoline on the flames and thinks he’s helping people. I don’t have a very high opinion of him.”
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Jesse Peterson - “He’s a man trader.”
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Prof. Rodebaugh - “Who’s Dr. Phil?”
By Anthony Garibay
Just Get Over Here
Okay, despite possible popular belief, no, this article is not on behalf of the Activities Committee. This is just my way of informing the poor, naive freshmen of what they should do and giving the rest of the classes a figurative kick in the pants. Well, kind of. Just hear me out, or . . . read me out?
So, as you guys know, there are lots of activities and parties that are planned by the ILHS Activities Committee. Just recently was the Newcomers’ Party. I was still hearing several days afterwards about how awesome it was. And I am happy to say a lot of newcomers actually did attend. Seeing that it was a party for them, it is kind of disappointing when they don’t show up. Parties are no fun when people bail out. However, not unlike Ke$ha, “The party don’t (really) start ‘til I walk in.” Thank you, thank you very much. But, that isn’t the point.
Just FYI, you aren’t cooler if you skip activities. It doesn’t give you street cred, ya know? Really, it’s just kind of sad. We, the Activities Committee, do put a lot of work into making these parties and events fun for you guys. Now, I’m not saying it is going to be the most “lit” thing (ugh, I can’t believe I just wrote that) you’ve ever been to, but these parties are ways to have good, decent fun and make memories from high school. I am now a junior and still have inside jokes from past years at these parties and things.
So, during first semester, we have the Hay Ride, Corn Maze, Fall Party, and various other events that come up. Come, do it: they really are a lot of fun. Besides, it’s something out of the normal school routine.
Okay, I get it if you’re not a party person; you don’t like crowds or loud noises or whatever, I do, but at least try to make it to some of them. Convince your group of friends or your special someone (wink, wink) to come with you. It’s worth it.
Sorry for all the bad jokes.
However, I do hope to see lots of you guys at all these activities.
God bless your school year!
By Grace Meyer
Flash Member of The Month
I want to introduce everyone to our newest member behind the scenes that helps create the Flash. We’re only one issue deep into the school year and already this individual has become a key player.
From showing tremendous
interest and eagerness, to
bringing fresh ideas along
with his own spunk, I’m
looking forward to seeing
what Aric Reim will
contribute to the Flash as a
co-editor. Thanks Aric!
Aric Reim
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By Megan Johnston
Limaricks
Fall Traditions
In Fall we watch people make field goals,
In Fall we can eat apple pie whole,
One might apple pick
While another gets sick
With a case of Hand, Foot, and Piehole.
By Aric Reim
THe fans
For those who haven’t gone to a varsity volleyball game, GO TO ONE. I’m telling you, varsity volleyball games are the best part about the fall. You get to watch some great competition, you can scream your head off, and the chants get insane. Being a fan is almost as intense as playing the actual sport sometimes. The fan section is what can motivate the players to hustle harder and do better. Seth Miller and Megan Johnston, our fearless stuie section leaders, get the chants going and keep the whole fan section hyped throughout the game. The theme nights can really get people out of their comfort zone and make the fan section look more like a team. Being a fan is something that you can be proud of, because the fans make the winning atmosphere that any good team needs. The next home game is September 25th and I hope whoever reads this wades their way down to the game and tries it out!
By Lily Meyer
The Red Line
For those who have never been to the....colorful city of St.Paul, Minnesota, there is a lifeline that runs through the city. It goes past some of the most popular places, like downtown, the Vikings Stadium, and the Mall of America. It’s called the Light Rail. It’s hands-down the cheapest method of traveling around St.Paul and Minneapolis. It also will give you an experience you will never forget. Brynn Schierenbeck and I had the absolute pleasure of traveling using the Light Rail. It was definitely the best experience I’ve ever had in Minnesota, rated #37 by Forbes for being a terrible state (don’t fact-check me, Megan, it’s true). I’ll take you through our journey, highlighting all the most memorable parts. It won’t be nearly as fun in writing as it was in real life, but if you walk out by the kitchen dumpsters and read this, it’ll be pretty much the same experience.
We walked from the undisclosed location that we had been at to our destination, the Light Rail station. We got lost pretty badly, but Google Maps saved us. We arrived at the station and attempted to purchase our tickets. The first ticket-seller-computer thing we tried to use wouldn’t take our money. We could see the train getting closer and closer, which was really stressing us out and somehow making the ticket-seller-computer thing not work well. The train pulled up as our tickets were printing out and we were getting our change. We got our monetary ducks in a row and Brynn ran for the door of the train. It literally shut in her face. It had maybe sat in the station for two minutes tops. Anyways, so that one pulled away and we had to wait for another one. The little overhang smelled a little fishy, so we just waited next to the tracks and did a little people-watching. It was interesante, to say the least. Then, the train arrived…
I guess you’ll have to wait for next issue to find out more about our crazy light rail experience!! Trust me, it’s worth it.
By Lily Meyer
Entwined
Alexus Aichele: Rope
Seth Miller: Hang
Malaena Buck: Man
Jeremy Bobek: Guy
Emma Miller: Hat
Lydia Kettner: Baseball cap
Allison Schaller: White
Ashton Loomis: Emptiness
By Julianna Hein
WORD ASSOCIATION
By Nate Buck
HELP: New Faces On Campus?
Having been gone student teaching for awhile, I was told by many a student at ILC
that the demographic landscape of Immanuel has changed dramatically: apparently
this year, there are many "New Faces" at ILC!
Perhaps some of you can help me clarify; for--as anyone who knows me can
attest--I am easily confused and discombobulated. However, in this matter, I
am mostly disturbed.
First of all: what is the nature of these new faces?! I'm surprised more people
aren't concerned about them. You'd think they'd have come with the rest of
their bodies as well, maybe with arms and legs and torsos… maybe a good
old-fashioned rear end to sit on. But just new faces? What's going on here?!?
Do these new faces float about campus, bumping into things and causing
havoc? Do new faces even move, or do they require carrying from place to
place? Is it like a Professor Quirrell-thing where each professor wears a
purple turban and now really do have eyes on the back of their heads? Can
new faces even talk, or are they mute? How can new faces do homework
without opposable thumbs, or any fingers for that matter?
Okay, maybe it doesn't matter what these faces look alike. After all, our faces
are all different too--maybe the new faces are all very beautiful.
But can anyone tell me: where did the new faces come from?!?
Did the new faces just pop up out of the ground and enroll in classes? I want
to know: did the new faces flee persecution in their old homelands and come
to ILC looking for refuge? Or is it an alien invaders thing, and they mingle up
until the time they capture us all and take us to their mothership? Or has
Sherman Kettner gone mad scientist and created synthetic life?
As a citizen and a student, I'm deeply concerned.
That leaves the final question I have: What happened to all the Old Faces?
I'd grown rather fond of the "Aric Reim" variety and the "Megan Johnston"
variants--even the "Seth Miller" smacks-a-chunka-bowl-o'-cheese version 931, copyright 2002.
Of course, I suppose I'll enjoy getting to know the New Faces. (Except those
"Noah Buck" and "Christian Schaller" models….heard those are trouble).
But you know, in summary--like any other year-- I expect to see those old faces around,
new faces here and there, and Paul Sullivan giving both new and old faces detention when they need it.
Yep, nothing new.
Blessings on your year, and make sure to welcome the new faces (lest they take you to their mothership)!
What type of hair do you like? Some people may say, "I like long hair. It looks cute on guys." Or others may say, "I like it short. It's annoying to have it in my face." But what I don't get about some people is their opinion on hair cuts, particularly when a male gets a haircut and a female says, "You're hair looks so weird . . ." and when he doesn't get a haircut, then she says, "You're hair is sooooooo long it's disgusting.” And I just look at them with this face that says, “Well, what in the world do you want people to do! Do you want it short or long? Why are you still complaining?” I know this may be a petty thing, but JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND! I, for one, think long hair on almost anyone looks fine, as long as it's not greasy. (Yes, it is a universally acknowledged truth that when a person has long, or even short, greasy hair is it disgusting. So please wash your hair). But for some reason, I found that a lot of girls like it when movie star guys have super long hair, but when guys in real life have it it's “gross.” I don't know why, maybe they think some guys look good with long hair and others don't. I can respect that opinion. Some hair is left better average. But I think almost all hair should be a little longer than average to be at its best. What do you think?
Campus Musings
Dungeons and Dragons
With Zach Strike
Did you know that scientists and doctors have both agreed
that spinning on your head can improve your attentiveness
and strengthen your hair muscles? You may be asking
yourself, “How could this be?” The answer, however, is very
simple. When you spin on your head, you send your cerebral
articicual protozoas on a wildly exciting ride. These special
protozoas, when spun, travel through all 5 sections of the brain, brushing past your attentive glands along the way. These glands, when brushed upon, send messages to your brain’s control center that say, “Hey!!! Listen up and stop fiddling with your pencil!” It’s like your brain is being tricked into wanting to notice all the little details of your surroundings. Spinning on your head comes in handy during school, while on detective duty, or when you go into an escape room. Besides attentiveness, controlling your hair muscles is probably the most important thing you can gain from spinning on your head. Just like lifting heavy weights with your arms, you grow more control of your hair strands the more you spin on your head. This can be quite important on bad hair days or when you get into a fight because you’ll have thousands of little arms assisting you. Spinning on your head is also loads of fun to do.
Matt’s Life Advice
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Don’t try to jump and dive off of a diving board if you don’t actually know how to dive.
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Don’t eat applesauce right after you brush your teeth.
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Don’t forget to put cleaning solution in the washing machine when you wash your sheets.
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Make sure you are actually able to comprehend what you are reading before you finish a reading assignment.
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Don’t rely on Scotch®️ tape to solve any of your problems.
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Always remember that it’s almost Friday.
From Another Point of View
-BREAKING NEWS-
It has just been reported that aliens from another world
have indeed landed on our surface. We believe that they
have come from the planet Bluey-Greenia, and have the
intent of taking our rocky stronghold for themselves. They
arrived in strange crafts and landed in the western
quadrant near the Sea of Tranquility. The beings themselves appear to be some sort of sentient machine creatures that are clearly capable of space travel. Once they left their travel crafts, they set up a flag, presumably claiming all of this great land for themselves. They have since left, but there is a good chance that they will come back. More news will come to follow.
-The Lunar Times, July 1969
Deep Thoughts
If someone tells you not to trust anyone, what are you supposed to do? If you
decide to listen to this person, and choose not to trust anyone,
then you are trusting them not to trust anyone. If you
decide not to listen to them, then you are not trusting
them, which in a way is trusting them not to trust them.
By Suraya Williams
Fun False Facts
from Matt Rad
By Matt Radermacher
Quick note: For those of you who don’t know what Dungeons and Dragons is, it is a game of literal fantasy: you have to picture everything to see it. No video game controls or screen, just a pencil, paper, dice, and your imagination. Virtually anything can happen in the game: fighting a vast variety of monsters, recovering ancient treasures and magic, even conquering entire worlds. But enough talk from me. Let me share with you excerpts from some of the adventures and misadventures that I was either a part of or created…
I will do my best to define anything that may seem unfamiliar to readers who do not play D&D. That includes what certain character classes, races, or terms might be. Also, I apologize to anyone who has been in the same campaign as I and are reading these: sometimes I forget things, and other parts I may have changed to partially forgetting them.
Ending the Curse of the Abandoned Mansion
Two adventurers, a bard and a ranger (a primary weapons fighter, can also use nature magic), had been hired by the city’s council to investigate the disappearance of a search party that had gone into the abandoned home of one of the recently-deceased noble families. Along with them were sent a dragonborn (a half-human, half-dragon hybrid) fighter and a kenku (a humanoid raven). As they approached the family mansion, they noticed two human sentries that had already opened the big double doors; they had been sent ahead to secure the mansion before they got there. The guards remained at the door while the party went in.
They ventured throughout the vast halls and rooms, all covered in dust and some with disturbing bloodstains in them. They descended to the basement, searching the cellar storages. In one room, they found a secret door that led to a high ledge.
“An underground river?” one of them asked. They spotted to the right an old rope ladder that stretched to the other side, weakly clinging to the ledge.
“We should check this out later,” the ranger said. As they returned to the basement hallway, they heard a loud noise come from upstairs. A minute later, one of the sentries had come down to them.
“The doors!” she exclaimed, holding a torch with a shaking arm. “We had just stepped in and they began to close! The other one made it out in time, but I was trapped inside. The doors are locked by some magic. Who knows when they will open!” After calming the sentry, everybody became more alert, and the kenku let out occasional nervous squawks. They finished investigating the basement - but not after finding a disturbing bloodstained book on a shelf by the dried food supplies - and headed to the second floor, bypassing the first floor. After searching the bedrooms and the office room, they had found a soiled spade in a closet and a bloodied knife in the drawer of a nightstand. Soon afterwards they headed to the attic.They first entered the storage room, which was bountifully filled with antique riches, but it was also guarded by a chest mimic (a monster that looks like a harmless, inanimate object, but is really a dangerous creature). The four of them brought it down quickly, suffering minor injuries; the sentry was too scared to defend herself, so she acted as a light source.
The party then headed to the only other room on the attic floor. Inside was a room dimly lit by candles that stood on a strange shrine. Atop the shrine was a carved statue of an ugly demon with six scorpion tails and a serpent’s head. Behind them, the sentry’s torch had gone out, and the door closed. The four of them turned around to find her laughing hysterically. The dragonborn took out one of his axes, a signal to his companions to also arm themselves; they had found the reason people had been disappearing in the house.
“Now, now,” the sentry taunted. She lashed out at the dragonborn, deep claw marks appearing on his chest armor. “No need for all of this. You’ll take all of the fun out of it!” She attacked the kenku, missing by an inch.The ranger shot her bow while the bard swung at it with her shortsword. Upon making contact with the sentry/monster, the bard noticed a dent in her sword made from the monster’s skin; it had suffered only a small cut when a strike like that could have dismembered it. “You’re trying to kill me as if I were a demon!” it shrieked. The ranger looked behind her at the statue, then back at the monster.
“Dragonborn!” she called out, pointing to the statue. Understanding her message, the fighter charged at the shrine and splintered the statue with his warhammer. A high scream went out as the monster writhed in pain. To the party’s misfortune, she eventually stood up and looked at them, her eyes turning dark red. She pounced on top of the dragonborn, biting deep into his neck. As she released him from her jaws, the creature’s wounds started closing.
“Always a good thing to do,” she grinned. “Have a snack when you’re not feeling good!” Immediately, she put her hand over her mouth, giving the party the next item to look for.
“To the basement!” the bard called out, beginning the descent. The kenku and dragonborn stayed behind, holding back the monster to give the ranger and bard a chance to get to the bloodied book in the basement. The ranger took it off the shelf while the bard got out her flint and steel. They set it on the floor and set it ablaze, hearing the monster all the way upstairs screaming in pain. They got back up to the room, the kenku unconscious on the floor and the dragonborn kneeling beside it, deep wounds on his arms and in his side between the armor platings. The monster wasn’t in there with them.
“Sometimes,” its voice echoed from behind them, “I wish I could just go outside and bury all of my troubles!” and immediately began yelling at herself to keep quiet.
“The shovel!” the ranger and bard said. They ran to the downstairs closet and got it, ran to the double doors, which had mysteriously opened, and went out. In the yard was a hole, a pile of dirt beside it. They placed the shovel inside and covered it up. When they stood up, they had the sensation that they blacked out, then opened their eyes to find themselves magically back in the mansion. It was very quiet, the only sound that they could hear was their hearts pounding.
“Should’ve run when we had the chance,” the bard complained. They heard a sudden clattering noise above them. They looked up to see the monster hanging from the chandelier, staring down at them. “Yep.” the bard said. “Run!” They dashed up the stairs with the monster right behind them.
“Just go to sleep!” it screamed. “All of this running can become tiresome!” The ranger and bard knew exactly where their next item was.
“To the bedroom!” the bard said, sprinting faster than she ever could. Once they got in, the ranger pulled open the drawer of the nightstand and grabbed the knife. The monster took the corner into the room and stopped in the doorway. It stayed there for a minute, eyeing the knife.
“That’s the last one!” she gasped between breaths. “You can’t kill me! And you shouldn’t try!” She lunged at the ranger, grabbing at her to disarm her. The ranger dodged to the side and dealt the killer’s blow. The monster was no more, and they had succeeded their mission. As they got their two companions from the attic, they could see the sun starting to rise from outside the small window in the wall. Peace finally returned to the “abandoned” mansion.
By Zach Strike