Senior Spotlight: James Schaser
The world changed for the better on January 30, 1998, when James Matthew Schaser was born. You may know him as that guy who keeps emailing you about theme nights, that kid who twirls his frisbee in the hallway trying and failing to look smooth, or the one who blares James Blunt at 7:00 am every morning. He insisted that I make him look charming in this article, so you can be the judge of that.
Flash: Describe your life in five words.
James: Unpredictable chaos.
F: Good try. If you’re ever a wedding DJ, what are some songs you’d play?
J(after scoffing at the word “if”): “Free Fallin’” by John Mayer. “DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love.” Twenty One Pilots cover of “Can’t Help Falling In Love.” “The Way You Look Tonight” by Frank Sinatra.
F: Any good memories from high school that stand out?
J: When I was a freshman, I went out with the juniors (Alex Fleischer’s class) and we played a game of tagball in Walmart.
F: Are you more attached to David Hein or the Les Mis soundtrack?
J, (With no hesitation): David Hein.
F: What Ude animal would you be?
J: I’m playful and easily distracted, soooo. . . probably the otter. To put it in my own words, “I’m both the dog that gets distracted by the squirrel and the squirrel.”
F: Plans after ILC?
J: Civil engineer until I get my breakout in acting. And until my face stops breaking out.
F: Will you be using your reading voice after you graduate or will it go into retirement?
J: The question is will I read after ILC. . . I predict that I’ll become illiterate after high school, so no.
F: Desert island. Three things and three people. Go.
J: Wow, I’m about to lose a lot of friends… Power generator, TV with DVD capabilities, and all nine seasons of “How I Met Your Mother.” Chris Pratt, Chris Evans, Chris Pine.
F: Any advice to your underclassmen?
J: In ten years all our news will come through podcasts, so get on the “hype train” while you still can.
Favorites
Movie: This week, it’d have to be Shawshank Redemption. (“It may not be your favorite movie, but it’s the best movie.” -Luke Schaser).
Color: After asking “girl color or guy color” and then explaining the categories to me, he answered navy blue.
Actor: Donald Faison
Coach: Roehl or Rodebaugh (or Tony)
TV Show: Three way tie between “Scrubs,” “30 Rock,” and “Parks and Rec.”
Tree: Spruce
Professor: Schierenbeck
Where do you see James in ten years?
Ben/David: Living day-to-day avoiding the landlord of his dingy apartment. Trying to make it on Broadway while working a full-time job as a waiter. Oh, and eating lots of Top Ramen.
Prof Schierenbeck: James creates a website that teaches Canadian sports broadcasting. He is defending himself in a class action lawsuit brought by a large population of Canadians whom James refused to hire because their Canadian accents were “weak.”
Drew: He’s the successful owner of a Banana Republic. He oversees his plantation while impersonating Crispy Colonel Sanders.
James (his idea, not mine): Living in Jon’s basement with David, struggling as an actor even though I’ve been offered ten jobs with my bachelor’s degree in civil engineering.