Elect-a-Prof (And Other Fun Election Games)

So I’m sure that you all, as I have, have been spending the majority of your time lately with your head in your hands, groaning pitifully and muttering something under your breath, from which the casual bystander can only discern the occasional words “Clinton,” “Trump,” and "armpit." Now, the way I see it, there are only two plausible ways to deal with your unfortunate plight, which are stated as follows: 1- Take Megan Johnston’s (see previous issue- “Canadian Corner”) advice and move to Canada, or 2- Take my advice, and find someone else to elect who is actually worth your time.

Well, folks, you’re in luck. I, as a conscientious citizen of the United States, have taken it upon myself to compile a list of people that I feel could serve our country better than Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. They are:

1. Alton Brown

2. SpongeBob SquarePants

3. Dave Barry

4. Binky the Clown

5. Sasquatch

Ok, as you can see, the list wasn’t one of my better ideas.

Not to worry. I have another plan. Just try these simple election games and you’ll be fine. (Or my name isn’t Felipe Hernandez.)

Election Activity #1- Elect-A-Prof: Wanna know something? The 108 students of Immanuel High School, most of whom I assume can't vote, make up 3.3866415804327E-5% of the United States population. Anyone know what that means?

*Yes, you in the back...*

Correct! We can make a difference! So, this year vote for YOUR favorite Prof and he might just get 3.3866415804327E-5% of presidential votes! Woo!

Election Activity #2- Don't be Stupid: Sounds simple? Hmm. You'd be surprised how many people don't know the rules.

Election Activity #3- Whack-A-Mole: I feel this step needs no explanation.

Election Activity #4- Move To Canada: Well, we all knew we’d get here eventually.

And that’s all. Good bye, and good luck.