Sports Curses: Could this be the End?
Sports Curses: Could this be the End?
Chicago Cubs. Minnesota Vikings. Buffalo Bills. Los Angeles Clippers. Cleveland (Yes, just Cleveland[1]. Any team from Cleveland[2]). These names are (or were) synonymous with words such as “long-suffering,” “snake-bitten.” “choke artists.” and finally, “cursed.”
This collection of lovable losers has been torturing fans for years. A whole century, in Chicago’s case. The Cubs and the Cleveland Indians[3] haven’t won championships since 1908 and 1948, respectively. Guess who was President in 1908. Did you guess Teddy Roosevelt? There were men alive who fought for the Confederacy. There were only 46 states in the Union. However, the Cubs and the Indians are currently engaged in a closely contested World Series, and the winner will be curseless by November 6.
The Minnesota Vikings (a team near and dear to my heart) and the Buffalo Bills are both 0-4 in Super Bowls, the latter losing an astounding four in a row. The Vikings have not appeared in the Super Bowl since 1976, and the Bills since 1993. Both teams have been known to lose games in particularly creative and sadistic ways. This season, however, the Vikings are currently 5-1 and looking like a Super Bowl threat in the NFC, led by a punishing defense. The Bills are doing alright at 4-3, but have been having trouble coping with key injuries. The Vikings have played well in spite of a score of key injuries.
The Los Angeles Clippers have never won an NBA Championship. They enter this NBA season with high hopes and a good squad, but it is too early to tell what will happen with them. They have been defined lately as a fantastic regular-season team that stumbles in the playoffs. The Cleveland Cavaliers had never won an NBA Championship. Then amazing happened. Lebron happened. The Warriors blowing a 3-1 lead happened. The Block happened. The Shot happened[4]. J.R. Smith wearing no shirt for a solid month happened[5]. In 2016, the Cleveland Cavaliers[6] were crowned champions for the first time in team history, and the Cleveland city-wide championship drought was brought to an end after 52 years.
At least one baseball curse will be brought to an end by the time this is published. Will the Vikings or Bills break a curse of their own in February? Probably not, but maybe. Will the Clippers win a championship? Almost definitely not. Will the Indians and Browns[7] make this the year of Cleveland? Nope. Not even a chance. You never know, though[8].
Your friend,
Jonathan Gamble
[1]Disclaimer: It is a popular view that God hates Cleveland. I do not share in this view, as God is a loving Lord.
[2]Does God really hate Cleveland?
[3]Barring a particularly painful defeat, God doesn’t hate Cleveland.
[4]This may be the most unlikely turn of events in history. God definitely doesn’t hate Cleveland.
[5]Quite impressive, actually. Inconclusive whether this applies to God’s opinion of Cleveland.
[6]The famine is over. God definitely does not hate Cleveland.
[7]The Browns are lousy as ever. Laughable, really. Take your trials with your blessings, Cleveland.
[8]Unless it’s the Browns. Then you do know. Sorry, Cleveland.