In My Stupid Opinion.... (Fast Food Edition)
There is a great mystery that the answer to has long been searched for. Greeks attempted to answer through philosophy, ancient Chinese sailors went to sea to find the answer and never returned, Romans tried to answer it through force and conquering most of the world, Americans tried to answer it through Freedom and Democracy. This mystery is… “Where do you want to go to eat?”
Since the target audience for this piece is high school students, I am restricting myself to fast food restaurants within walking distance of campus (Arby’s, McDonald’s, Taco Bell, and Wendy’s). I’ll go through random categories and explain why each eatery is where it is. The science behind this ranking system is very complex and definitely not just my personal preference. Without further rambling, I’ll get into the list.
Cost
This category is first because it is most important. You can have a burger that blows the competition out of the water, but if the competition is a $1 compared to $5, the competition is going to win every time. For this category, I am going to compare the best deal at all of these restaurants.
Arby’s
If you go into Arby’s and don't order a $1 slider for your main food, you are either A) Trying to impress someone by showing how much you don’t care about money, or B) You are a vegetarian. If you fall in group B, you do you. If you
fall in group A, shame on you. If anything, people will be impressed by your deal searching and not wasting your money. I would recommend either the buffalo or regular chicken slider. It is pretty much a deliciously deep fried, crispy, juicy, chicken tender with cheese and bread. The Sliders are consistently satisfying and you can create cool modern art sculptures with the boxes.
Taco Bell
This one is a harder choice for which is the better deal, the mini chicken quesadilla, or the beefy frito burrito. I honestly prefer the burrito, but it is not consistent. I have had ones that just had sour cream on one side, or soggy fritos, or even uncooked rice. For that reason, I am going to say quesadilla. This is a surprisingly larger item for the dollar menu, and because not that many people order them, they are usually made fresh for you. This insures that the cheese is hot and gooey and the chicken is steamy. If you haven't had it yet, I would surely give it a try one time; it is only a $1.
Wendy’s
This is Wendy’s weak spot because the best cheap thing at Wendy’s is a frosty. Their cheap food items aren’t that good. Their chicken sandwich on the value menu is very inconsistent and just is not that good of chicken. Plus, they just use a bun not proportionally sized to the burger at all. The cheap burger tastes like none of their other higher priced burgers. This concerns me.
McDonald’s
McChicken. I shouldn’t even have to explain this. The McChicken has the perfect sauce, always tastes delicious, and is cheap. It is such a staple in my family that we measure unnecessary purchases with McChickens. You can either buy a razor and shaving cream for $10 and shave off that goatee… or buy 7 McChickens. Suddenly, that goatee doesn’t seem so bad anymore. If you ever want to convince someone not to buy something, take the price of what they are going to buy, divide it by $1.29, round down, and boom, that's how many McChickens you could buy with that money.
Winner: McDonald’s, but Arby's is a close second.
Best Overall Food
We are foregoing price for this one, but the cheaper their best overall, the better.
Arby’s
This one is surprising, but the best overall food at Arby's are the $1 sliders. I just can’t explain it; they are so good. Seriously, if you haven't had one yet, get one.
Taco Bell
For the past two years, I cannot remember going to Taco Bell and not getting a Crunchwrap Supreme. It is my go to
food at Taco Bell. Three dollars is not that bad of a price, and one of those fills you up pretty well. These vary with how good they are. If they are freshly made, and crispy on the outside, then that is the best form of the Crunchwrap. You can also get a cold and floppy Crunchwrap. That is the worst form of the Crunchwrap.
Wendy’s
The Baconator. Most people wouldn’t even need to know what this burger is, just its name, and they would know it is the best item at Wendy’s. If you are not full after putting away this behemoth of a burger, then I'm quite sure the only burger that could fill you up is the Milwaukee Burger Challenge. The bacon is perfectly done for a burger, the beef tastes real, and the toppings are proportional to size.
McDonald’s
The Big Mac is one of the most well-known burgers in the world. To be completely honest with you, though, I’ve only ever had two Big Macs that I can remember. What I do remember, though, is being underwhelmed. It’s not incredibly big or have an interesting combo of ingredients. But what it does have is thousand Isl... I mean, Secret Big Mac sauce. That stuff is really good on a burger.
Winner: Taco Bell
Side
Could be fries. Could be a special drink. Could be a dessert.
Arby’s
Arby’s curly fries are the best fries in the world. There is no question. If you have a different opinion, go tell someone else because I do not care. They have a perfect amount of seasoning. They are good hot, good cold, really good dipped in Arby's sauce, good in ketchup, and good on a sandwich. If I saw a box of Arby's fries in the trash, I would consider pulling them out and eating them.
Taco Bell
Before this year, I had never tasted the glory of the Cinnabon Delight. I had not experienced life. I was sheltered from them, kept from them by the lack of funds in my wallet. But now that I have just enough funds to spend solely on food, I was able to enjoy this delectable treat. One big drawback to this is how expensive it is for just a small number of these. You can’t get them every time, but, the glorious day after getting paid, I highly recommend burning some of that dough on some deep fried dough, stuffed with heavenly, creamy, frosting.
Wendy’s
Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Do I want ice cream, or do I want a shake?” Well, at Wendy’s, you don’t have to. As Hannah Montana said about, what I assume to be the Frosty, “You get the best of both worlds.” The consistency is always perfect. A rookie mistake is to not take a spoon and rely only on a straw. Apparently there is a vanilla frosty. I wouldn’t recommend it because chocolate is always better. (They have a swirl too.)
McDonald’s
After being told that a second McChicken doesn’t count as a side, this one goes to Mickey D’s fries. They are super salty, super delicious, with no annoying potato skin on them (I’m looking at you, Wendy’s). There is not much that can beat a McDonald’s fry. Pro Tip: If you want fresh fries, ask for unsalted fries and then put your own salt on them when you get them.
Winner: Arby’s
So the moral of this article is 1. All fast food joints have good things. No one reigns as an undisputed King, and 2. Never ask me to review anything, because I will go super in depth and come out with absolutely no resolution whatsoever.
P.S. Given the choice among these restaurants, I pick TBell every time.