#JoshGerbitz

Check out our previous issues!

“Dear, would you go with me to formal?”

Asked a boy who wasn't quite normal.

The girl obliged,

Well, that’s no surprise,

Since we teenagers are quite hormornal.

There once were some nice miniclasses,

But methinks there be topics they lackses.

Like pickle eating,

Or, say, walrus feeding.

But don’t worry, everyone passes.

Ask a Prof

Question: If you could combine any two animals which two would you combine and what would you call the new species? Prof Rodebaugh:...

Grade School Tournaments

Grade school tournaments were always one of the highlights of my year. I would leave my normal school day and tell all my friends I was...

Ask a Prof.

Question: If you had to witness one of the following fights, which would it be and why? Prof Rodebaugh vs. Prof Roehl Prof Naumann vs....

Dear Freshman...

Every year a new group of freshmen comes in and has some things to figure out. Every year it seems that by three quarters of the way...

10 Top Tips for Buying Shoes

Ten tips on shoe selection Find a pair you like and will wear. Choose a brand you trust. Find an affordable shoe that’s a good deal. Make...

The True Guardians of the Galaxy

Angels are absolutely everywhere. God sends them to watch over us even when we put ourselves in vulnerable positions. That is absolutely...

Hymnal Selection

Make sure it’s red; always take a red one. Make sure you can open it up. Make sure pages aren't falling out. Make sure it’s red. If you...

Mel's A Champ

A lot has changed since Mel took over at the start of last year. She brought in some new ideas in her first year, such as brunch, orange...

Ron Porath: The Dragon Slayer

Have you ever met someone who changed your life in a very short time? Perhaps it was the most seemingly ordinary person who had one trait...

Advice for the Freshmen

Disclaimer: The freshman year is the easiest, most carefree year of high school. Here is some advice from my experiences: Sleep! You have...